Meet Him Again

V

"Ronan!" Cale woke up from his deep sleep. He's in his room back at the county. He looked around confusedly. He was kidnapped and taken to a boat, but he lost consciousness after. He didn't remember how he was saved but—

"Ronan." he touched his ears and felt relieved.

He didn't lose it. He's thankful for that.

He rose from the bed and normally started his day. He calmly came out of his room and went to the dining hall. He had been eating rather alone lately so he expected not to see Deruth but he was there with Violan and her child.

He couldn't help but feel bitter when he saw them.

He used to be the one sitting beside Deruth, while he was holding his mother's hands.

"Cale?"

"I'll eat later." He went away.

Deruth seemed like he was so quick to get over his mother.

Of course, he would. He's still young but that only means that his mother was just easy for him to change.

"Cale."

Deruth followed after him.

"Do you not want to dine with them?"

He looked at his father. He's so used to this, his father would definitely tell him that it's fine and she's now his new mother. He didn't reply and just lowered his head. He couldn't keep his expression straight. Hate him, loathe him, but Cale didn't want to be treated this wat.

"Shall we eat alone?" That felt even more bitter.

"Why? Just do what you want. Don't include me in it!" He can't help but scream at him, "Since when did you ask me? Just go do your own! Aren't you best at doing everything on your own?"

He turned around and left his father shocked. He didn't mean to say that but—he's not part of their world. He can't help but grit his teeth and stay for the remainder of the day alone in his room.

He just wanted to go back to the Ubar region. There's someone in there who would choose him over anything else. Back there, he had someone who would do even boring things with him.

He never shed a tear during his childhood trauma yet he broke down searching for this agonizing love on a boundless sea.

The moment we decide to love, we become vulnerable to pain and hurt.

He can still clearly remember.

Love is the desire for someone else to be happy, even if not with you.

He stood alone in his room, contemplating the end of his pathetic life. He looked around, imagining this prison disguised as a peaceful paradise. A life filled with wealth, a place where he didn't need about life, and yet—

"You really don't know what I need." He smiled bitterly as he slid on the floor, hugging his knees. "You really don't know anything about me, father."

With no one knowing.

Without anyone weeping.

He wanted to vanish from this world, putting an end to the nightmare he had been living.

He lowers his gaze. His hands were drenched in tears, and tears streamed down his cheeks.

He rubbed his eyes and buried his face in his hands, trembling as he remembered the happy times that had turned tragic.

I should have hugged you tighter and for a longer period of time the last time you held me tight.

His regret was not being able to hold his father's hand or apologize for being a selfish son.