Promise Me | Noah Sebastian

Chapter Five

Author's Note:

I'm still iffy on parts of this chapter, but I do like where it's going so far! Let me know so I don't freak out and delete it only to rewrite it. lol

Trigger Warning:

Panic Attack

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There wasn't much to pack for the tour when you were technically still living out of bags anyway. Noah had told me to pack, to which I responded by gesturing to my mostly already filled bags laying in front of his closet. It wasn't like he had a drawer for me to use, and even if he did, that was much too intimate a gesture for me. I'd overthink a measly drawer any day of the week.

Everyone was out of the house today, leaving me surprisingly by myself for once. I was on week three of living in California and already being trusted by the babysitting committee that I could fend for myself for a few hours. The thought made me roll my eyes, but I couldn't lie and say it didn't suck being the only one here. Once you got used to the nonstop noises in a house full of men, you couldn't simply revert back to stone silence. It was pushing my anxiety to some extremes, but I fought to shove past them in favor of cleaning the entire kitchen.

When that was done, I proceeded to vacuum and mop. There wasn't much left to do after that unless I truly wanted to be scolded later. The house did look so much better now that those tasks were done, however. But it still left me to my own vices, thoughts beginning to bog my mind like the plague. I forced my eyes shut a moment, driving air to my lungs. Maybe Noah's stupid babysitter's handbook wasn't all for show and actually held some promise.

No, I could be alone for a few hours and not think of any unfavorable tendencies. For instance, I could go back to playing games on his computer since I'd be without for a couple months. Either that, or I knew my Kindle app was stocked with books that were collecting virtual dust in a TBR list. I could easily be by myself for the time being and enjoy the silence that was so easily taken advantage of. Even better, maybe I could finally test my liver and have a glass of wine to truly have a little date with myself. The headaches had gotten better, and though I was still mildly afraid to take any kind of pain medication, a glass of wine wouldn't be so bad, right?

I glanced over the rack the boys kept moderately stocked, taking note of a few that I'd never heard of before. Deciding on a white, I poured a glass and went back up to Noah's room. For the past couple weeks, it had been my sanctuary. I'd spent a good few days hiding away in here when I needed to, but it was overall comfortable to me. That's what was important, according to Mr. Babysitter himself. Still, the silence was going to make me mildly insane. Already my thoughts were trying to break down those mental walls I'd created to shut them away.

Shaking my head once, I tentatively sipped the wine and searched up a new book to read. There were so many to choose from, one had to sound interesting enough. I scrolled through them all, even doubling back and nothing sounded good. The motivation wasn't even there and I couldn't even pretend it was. Reading just didn't sound appeasing right now.

I sipped the wine again, fingers drumming on my knees with a weird sense of anticipation. For what, I didn't know. Nothing felt wrong to me, least of all now since I was testing the waters with alcohol. The percentage wasn't even that high on the bottle, and it wasn't as if I was out to drink the entire thing. Just a glass, maybe two if I was feeling ballsy.

Music, maybe I just needed to have some background noise to settle things. The silence felt as if it was caving in on me as I rummaged for Noah's remote to the speakers and couldn't find it. It was just here last night, but where the hell did it go? His desk was immaculate since I'd also cleaned it, much to Noah's dismay at me doing household chores. There was nothing on the bedside, either.