Promise Me | Noah Sebastian

Chapter Seven

Author's Note: I'm so sorry this took so long. As I've mentioned previously I'm a new mom and am still learning to balance everything out. What's more is I've had other very large life changes happen and while they're all good things, being postpartum and dealing with it all really hit me harder than I was anticipating. BUT we're back, baby!

Trigger Warning:

Mentions of suicide

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There was some down time between shows, leaving us in a hotel which had a shower calling my name. Where the boys all had to share a room, I got one to myself which shouldn't have been the case but Noah wanted to be sure I had my privacy. It was sweet but unnecessary. Today was a day where I felt like maybe I shouldn't be alone but refused to say anything to anyone about it. My mind was just a bit down, that's it. Nothing to be worried about whatsoever.

Once I took the longest shower since leaving home and towel dried my strawberry locks, I sat in the middle of the bed looking at nothing in particular. The time told me it was late and I hadn't heard anything from any of the guys about plans for the night. Sighing, I opened the curtains to the window, sitting back in my spot on the bed to look out. There weren't any stars to gaze at. Only lights from the numerous buildings surrounding us.

What should I do? My body was too wound up to sleep just yet but I knew I needed to do something to get myself out of this slump. Holding onto my arms extra tight to ground myself, I sighed again. Was I doing enough? Was I being helpful enough? Noah kept telling me I didn't need to worry about helping so much as relaxing but I was feeling pretty damn useless as of late. There was nothing to keep my mind occupied and busy, even though I could watch Bad Omens perform forever and never grow tired of it. It still felt like I was freeloading.

Jolly, still not knowing why I was exactly here but enjoyed it nonetheless, agreed with Noah. I should be enjoying my time on the road with everyone rather than worrying about helping. Matt basically told me the same when I tried to help set up merch one night. The feeling of being useless was closing in on me and I needed to do something to get me out of it. Literally anything would suffice so long as my mind wasn't spiraling.

A knock at my door had my head whipping in its direction, my heart stopping before climbing out of bed to answer it. All four boys were standing in the hall, bags in hand and all of them in lounge attire. Smiling, I gestured them in before closing the door on them.

"Were you about to go to bed?" Folio asked as he set a bag down on the table.

"No, why?" My brows turned downward as Nicholas flipped on the light.

"Probably because it's so damn dark in here, Jess." He supplied, setting his own bag down.

"We've brought gifts, darling. Figured instead of going out we'd all stay in and have a bit of fun." I looked to the guitar player, his own hair a bit damp as they began taking out food and booze.

"Ahh, I see." I hummed to myself, the feeling of uselessness still sitting heavy on my chest but it was still a nice gesture for them to be here like this. I really didn't want to be alone.

"We have movies, tacos from I don't know where, liquor of your choosing with soda of your choosing." Noah listed off everything on the table, organizing it with red cups to dispose of later. Ever the meticulous one.

"How could I ever say no to tacos." Grabbing a plate Noah handed to me, his smirk plain as day on his face, I thought of the other night. We'd ended up falling asleep on the sofa on the bus, my cheeks heating up at the memory of waking up a couple hours later after everyone had gone to their bunks. It was dark, no lights were on, and Noah had his arms wrapped around me like I was a body pillow. My entire body had been on fire with both anxiety and his skin pressed against me for so long. It took everything in me to gently wake him up and suggest we get to bed.