"Say The Name"

Part 9 "Of Little Faith"

~Carat~
5:20pm USA EST
There was heck to pay back at home. EXO L had been in complete frenzy when she found Carat at the coffee shop, where she was checking for the fourth time.
"Carat!" She had screamed in tears before hugging her then hitting her arm repeatedly. "Where did you go! You left everything behind! I looked everywhere for you and called the police, hospitals, fire department. Where were you!"
Carat, sitting in her bedroom now, she recollected the greeting and rubbed her sore arm. Her sister had been a tough one to dissuade on the walk back to their home that Carat had insisted on walking instead of driving. After intense questioning from her terrified family Eomma (mom), Appa (dad), and EXO L, Carat convinced them all that she had felt dizzy and thought she passed out then all recollection afterwards was gone.
After having blacked out a couple of days prior, Eomma was getting ready to drive her in to the hospital. Carat didn't know how to feel about that. Not the check up, if anything that was probably a good idea, but the drive. Since her second disappearance, Carat had actively refused to cross busy roads. Terrified to teleport from one and appear in front of a car upon return trip. I probably should tell EXO L, she thought decisively. Then she could stop traffic in that spot. SEVENTEEN's right. She should know.
Her sister entered their room at that exact moment. Is this a sign? Carat wondered.
"How do you feel?" EXO L asked upon entry.
Carat swallowed. "EXO L, there's something that I need to tell you. I know where I went after I blacked out."
Her sister blinked then sat down on her own bed. "Where?"
"South Korea," Carat blurted. "I teleported to Korea into the Hybe building. SEVENTEEN was practicing their choreography for a behind-the-scenes sketchbook. This is the third time that I've teleported there."
EXO L disappointedly sighed. "Are you taking drugs? Tell me now if you are."
"What! No, did you hear what I just said? I've teleported to South Korea three times!"
EXO L nodded slowly. "And I'm sure they were nice dreams. Are you taking drugs to get those dreams? What are you taking?"
"I'm not taking drugs!" Carat yelled in hysterics. "EXO L, I need you to believe me."
EXO L adopted her monotone gentle tone. "Okay, we'll figure this out, little sis. They're going to have to check you for psychosis, though."
"I'm not crazy!" Carat screamed, but considered it anyway. Could I be? Could SEVENTEEN have just been a hallucination?
Scrounging for EXO L's phone beside her sister, Carat quickly sent a FaceTime to Joshua (JiSoo).
"Who are you calling?" EXO L demanded.
Carat waved her off desperately hoping that a SEVENTEEN member would answer, EXO L would witness and believe her, and she would know that she was not hallucinating.
Listening to each drawn out beep felt like a lifeline that was losing its strength every long second. Finally, she was forwarded to a machine.
"Who was that, Carat?" EXO L demanded again, taking her phone back.
"It's Joshua's phone number... I'm pretty sure it is at least."
EXO L looked next to tears. "We'll figure this out, Carat. As a family. Come on. We're ready to go to the hospital."
      The drive! "EXO L, if I disappear in that car, you have to stop vehicles from driving there until I return. I will return exactly in that spot."
EXO L was up and lightly leading Carat out of the room. "We'll figure this out, Carat. Let's just get there first."
"The vehicles, EXO L! You must stop them there until I return. I'll probably die if you don't."
"Okay, I'll stop the vehicles if you disappear. Happy?"
Carat felt sick as she approached their car, where her Eomma (mom) and Appa (dad) were ready to take her to the hospital. She doesn't believe me. If I disappear in this car, I'll be left by my own family to die.
Letting EXO L enter first, Carat began to step inside. Then, a small thought entered her mind that she acted on without further thought. Slamming the door shut, she sprinted across their front yard and rushed into their neighbor's back yard, locking the gate behind her. She could hear her family calling from a distance behind and trying to chase her, but adrenaline had taken Carat and she ran through their neighbor's yard trying to make it to the woods to cross the creek and enter the next neighborhood.
      This plan failed her when her foot caught in a hole and she crashed into the grass. Spiking pain ran down her ankle and she knew that she wasn't going to run when her family caught up. She would let them blindly risk her life taking her to the hospital.
By the time her family ran to her, Carat was in tears. She didn't particularly know why she was crying. Fear? A flood of self pity? Probably that and everything else from this week.
• • •
5:27pm USA EST
Carat's father, Appa, carried her back to the car as her ankle was sprained. Although her family asked many questions, her answer was always; "If I disappear, don't let anything travel through that spot."
• • •
5:59pm USA EST
Arriving at the hospital safely, Carat was first put in an ankle brace then filtered through a long series of tests. From cat-scans, to general health, the doctor attempted to discover why she kept having blackouts.
Carat was told that she was in perfect health with no explanation as to why she was having these fainting episodes. Immediately after hearing that, though, her sister let out everything that Carat had said about believing she could teleport to South Korea, having an irrational fear of being in a car so that she ran away when they tried to bring her. After that she was sent to a very different doctor.
• • •
11:34pm USA EST
      Sitting across from the sleepy psychiatrist, Doctor S. S. Nim as his placard reads, Carat tried to remain calm. Forcing away every nervous tick that threatened to give away her anxiety. I am sane. I have nothing to worry about, she thought. I am sane right? Carat pushed away the question. If I am not, then this guy will have to figure it out himself.
      "So you are a fan of the boy group SEVENTEEN?"
      "Yes, they are a guy group."
      "In South Korea?"
      Carat hesitated. Answering this line of questioning will hurt SEVENTEEN if the truth ever becomes known. Here she decided her silence.
      "Carat?" Doctor Nim asked. "Tell me about South Korea. What is it like there?"
      Silence.
      "You told your sister that you had gone there. What is it like this time of year?"
      "I was mistaken. A vivid dream during the blackouts, that's the only thing that it could be."
      "Have you ever had such "vivid dreams" before?"
      "I have a good imagination, sir. Unfortunately after waking up I usually forget everything about the dream. The same has happened to my last."
      The psychiatrist pursed his lips. "So you do not believe that you can teleport to South Korea?"
      Carat laughed. "No, my sister misconstrued what she heard and translated it to how she understood it. Though I have had enough dreams about being hit by a car that I'm terrified to go near them."
      "A dream enough to make you run away rather than enter a vehicle?"
      "I was scared of the hospital. They're notorious for infections and death. Being here today feels like a death sentence already," she stated trying to appear staunch on the matter.
      "What do you remember of the dreams?"
      Carat smiled lightly. "Nothing. I know that I said descriptions like Korea and meeting SEVENTEEN, but I've forgotten what happened. Now it's just an impression. One that fears traveling by car."
      The man tapped annoyingly on his notepad while he considered Carat. Feeling a rebellion rise in her, she lock his eyes for as long as he would hold her's. She would not back down.
      Eventually, he sighed and looked down to scribble something into his notes. Carat did not feel that she had won anything that would help her.
      "So," Doctor Nim began again. "Of your "guy group" which member is your favorite?"
      Carat considered his reason for asking such a question. He wants to get me used to answering him, she thought. So Carat held her silence instead. Surely she won't get into trouble for not answering who her bias was.
      "Do you have many favorites?" He pushed.
      "What style of music is your favorite, Doctor?" She asked suddenly.
      "Jazz and blues. What is your favorite?"
      "Does the music calm you? Is that why you listen to jazz?"
      He sat back in his chair. "Carat, you have to answer my questions too. Or we can't have a conversation."
      "We can talk about you rather than me. That's still a conversation."
      "We're not here to talk about me," the psychiatrist established.
      "I don't remember the dreams, Doctor. That's all."
      "What is your impression of them, then? You said that you remembered those."
      "Some were sweet, but in others I remember feeling alone."
      "Could that be your subconscious coming out in your dreams? Do you ever feel alone at home or at school?"
      "I'm a Christian, sir. I am never truly alone."
      The doctor raised his eyebrows. "A Christian, huh? Why is a Christian lying?"
      Carat returned to her silence. Jesus I'm sorry, please keep SEVENTEEN safe from this mess.
      A phone call rang from Doctor Nim's desk startling Carat out of her skin. The doctor rose and answered it. "Yes Eungene?... Alright then, we're done here. I'll call you back in a minute." Hanging up the phone, Doctor Nim addressed Carat. "Is there anything that you need to tell me? It will get harder if you let it out now."
      Carat smiled. Finally, we're done. I can go home now. "Absolutely nothing, Doctor. Thank you so much for spending your time on me. I've told you everything, though."
      The doctor rolled a pen between his fingers for a thoughtful moment. "We'll see."

~LeeChan (Dino)~
10:53am KST
      Being helped with his crutches into their hotel room, LeeChan hopped and swung his way to plop onto his bed. Careful not to disturb the knee that had been well bandaged.
      A small portion of his knee cap had been shattered, the doctor had said. Something like that at least, he thought laying back trying to relax his tired muscles from the whole night of dancing and drilling.
      "고마워, 형 (go-ma-uol hyeong/ thanks brother)," he breathed. WonWoo, who had helped him through the hotel, left without saying anything. Hearing someone else enter the room, he peeked at the door. JiHoon (Woozi) walked in and sat on the bed adjacent to LeeChan's.
      "It's my fault," he started, looking at LeeChan's crutches against the bed. "I'm so sorry."
      LeeChan struggled to sit up, but he tried hard not to show that to JiHoon. "You acted in the moment and the biggest problem wasn't revealed because of it." LeeChan carelessly tapped the brace around his knee. "This will heal fine."
JiHoon (Woozi) looked at him miserably. "I'm so sorry."
LeeChan smiled. "And I forgive you."
"Do you regret at all that she was in there? I wouldn't have had to distract anyone."
LeeChan thought it over. Would it be better if they threw her away every time she arrived?
"So long as she keeps coming, we need her to have an excuse to show up beside us. And intern was a good idea. And if that producer hadn't shown up while SeungCheol (S. Coups) was hiding her, than you wouldn't have needed to make a scene either." LeeChan waited to see if anything had resonated with him, but JiHoon was struggling with something else, LeeChan could see it clearly. "What is it, 형? (Hyeong/brother)"
"Are any of you guys worried about her? I mean Carat herself?"
LeeChan frowned. "What do you mean, herself?"
"I mean, it's like everyone just trusts and believes everything she says. What if she's lying? She could have these powers under her full control and have simply wanted to be in our lives. She could be a seseang for all we know!"
LeeChan considered the theory. "It's possible, but SeungCheol (S. Coups) obviously doesn't think so. I won't question him. Not without proof anyway."
LeeChan's own impression of Carat was positive, after the first two appearances, of course.
Are we believing her too early?

~EXO L~
11:57pm USA EST
      "She's smart," the doctor started. "Carat knows exactly what she's saying, but she's lying. I do believe that she has entered a state of psychosis. She totally believes her delusion and is lying to protect the characters in it."
EXO L felt like a thousand pounds had dropped on her heart. Her little sister, had lost her mind. Did I miss the signs, she blamed.
      "So what does this mean? What can we do?" Eomma (mom) asked through tears.
      The man hesitated. "I believe that if you attempt to take her home by vehicle than she will attempt to run away again. Also these blackouts worry me deeply as she moves around during them. I suggest, for her safety, that she stay in our ward for at least tonight. I will meet with her again tomorrow and hopefully we'll discover more as to what we're working with."
      EXO L swallowed hard as tears started down her cheeks. "Carat is going to stay in a psych ward?"
      "It will be the best place for her. She'll be safe and we will be able to figure out what is going on."
      "I understand. We need to see her before she goes," Appa (dad) insisted grievously.
"Would you prefer being the ones to tell her?"
      "Yes, we'll do it," Eomma answered wiping her tears.
      Entering the room, EXO L took slow steps. She half expected to see Carat deranged, with crazy hair and chanting something, but she was not. Carat sat poised as ever and determined, though nervous. Something that only EXO L would see.
      "When do we go home?" She asked nonchalantly.
      EXO L stood dumbly looking at her sister. Have I betrayed her? Can you betray someone that can't trust themselves?
      Appa went to her side and kneeled. He looked broken. "Tonight, sweetheart, you won't be sleeping at the house."
      "I'm going to an asylum?" Carat asked in shock. "Really? Over this?"
      "It's the safest place for you, Carat. With your wandering blackouts you just need to stay there for a couple of nights until the doctors can figure out what to prescribe you with. To make everything back to normal. Your mind especially. Okay?"
      Carat said nothing. She simply sent EXO L a solemn look of disappointment. A look that EXO L would never forget.
      "Unless there is anything else that you want to say about the blackouts," the doctor offered. "Maybe you remember a bit from your dreams now that you've thought about it?"
      Carat coldly looked to the psychiatrist. "Nothing, I'm sorry. I'll see you all tomorrow then."
      EXO L felt her legs weaken and could've been tempted to drop right there into uncontrollable sobs. Instead, she hugged her sister and kissed her cheek goodbye, feeling completely numb. Their parents did the same before they turned their backs on their youngest and left her behind.

~To Be Continued~