I must have spent hours in that bed room, it was growing dark out and the light was off. Only the dim light outside penetrated the think curtains that i had shut to block any more hurt out. I didn't feel any shame, just pure embarrassment. I was not yet ready to show people the reck that had consumed me. The people in my life where new, i was determined to have a fresh start...attempt to leave the torment of Luke behind. Though i knew that was impossible! He had scared me beyond recognition, not only pysicly but emotionally. It would take more then time to heal the indentation he left on my broken soul. I wondered when the boy's would return and how they would react towards me now. I was worried that they would treat me like that first day of school. Petty comments and jokes at my expense. "freak" they chanted...i suppose in the eye's of them i was, but they didn't know the truth. The extent of my heart break. Know one ever would.
After a few more moments i heard the harsh matelic tones of the copper key twisting in the rusted lock of the door so raised my hands to my face in a poor attempt to rid it of the visible marks of sadness that where evident. There was a small rustle outside the bedroom and i inhaled, scared as to what was about to enter. Sam walked in, understanding engraved in his features as he wordlessly sat on the bed opposite. He looked into my eye's and i turned away in response, not wanting to see what lay in them. He placed a tender hand in mine, but i didn't pull away. Infact i was grateful for his presence to guide me out of the pit of darkness that i had created for my self. "you do not have to worry what others may think Miss" his voice was sweet and harmonies, the words fell from his loving lips effortlessly as he continued to speak. "not in front of us, and especial not in front of me...i will not ask questions, but is you ever want to speak i am here" the word's where like gold to my ears, speaking what i wanted to here. I didn't feel pressured by him and i was thank full. He removed his hand from mine and raised it to my face, his motion smooth and elegant. The restless pain on fear subsided as he lightly brushed my cheek with his hand. The action was momentary, but the presence still remained, stinging my face with a pleasant heat i hadn't experienced before. I gazed up at him and his eye's where now fixed to the ground, an abashed look lingered in his eye's. It humbled me to think the smallest touch could have such an effect on us both. I cleared my throat causing him to look up startled. My eye's interlocking with his "thank you Sam" i said, not breaking the contact so he realise how much his kindness had ment to me. He said nothing, just giving me a pleasant smile before leaving the room and me alone with my thoughts.
Soon after all the lads came back, i looked in the circular mirror and cleaned my face quickly before patting down my clothes so i could make an appearance. I opened the door slowly, still a little intimidate by others. They were relaxing in the room watching television and didn't sense my noiseless entrance. I positioned my self in a chair that stood by its self. The plump pillow contacted my back and gave it the needed support, it had been paining me a while and i was told that i would need to see a physicotherapis should it worsen, but i could have know one touch the mess. I settled down and each inturn the boy's spoke to me a hint of guilt in each, i wished their uneasy away, knowing their reaction couldn't be helped and was to be expected. I smiled, trying to encourage their previous behaviour and during the rest if the night it was fully restored, we spent the early hours laugh and joking, the sound of my own shocking me...i didn't think i would hear it again. Finally, we all grew tired from the sea air and retired to bed.
A fist came almost slow motion and slashed my face with pain, a sinister laugh rang in my ears blocking my thoughts with the anxiety it inflicted. Breathless from the hurt i able the rest of the attack to continue as i coughed and choked for air...then i finally woke up. The covers constricted my body, pressing it down to the bed. The heat aggravated every element of me causing me to scream out in frustration. I lay still, the effort in my body had been abducted by the nightmares that impaled my happiness. two cold hands cupped my face and the contact confused me. But i was to exorstes to protest. "it was only a dream" a calming voice called before scooping me up to the safety in their being. The heat that radiated from their body tranqulised my unease and for once the close proximity of another did not scare me, but relaxed my sense as i fell back to sleep in the refuge of there arms. A more pleasant sleep then took over, as i felt peaceful and unharmed, sighing contented in relief.
I woke from my insomnictic sleep and stretched lazynely, catching glimpse of conversations the boys where having in the living room but not able to process it as my mind was not yet awake. A yawned and the was scared my the moment that came beneath me. I opened my eye's instantly to investigate. I blushed at the sight of a topless Sam beneath me and realise that i had fallen to sleep due to his defensive hold. I removed my self from his body, pulling the covers with me to conceal my embarrassment and fortunately he didn't wake. I extended my body again, trying to neglect the pain that ripped through my back and then turned my attention back to Sam to ensure that my moments had not disturb his slumber. I found my self studying his body, the thin sheet lay in curves of his body making it seem like he had nothing on. His sun kissed skin was complimented by the faint streaks of light that seeped there way through the glass panel windows, casting pleasant dark shadows in the indentation of his muscles , defining them. His face had pale element to it, though it too had been captured by the summer weather. His lips where parted slightly as his chest rose and fell to his rhythmic breathing. They where pale and plump yet still masculine. His dark eyelashes fell on his high cheek bones hiding the beauty that lay beneath. The bleached weathered hair lay messy and untamed giving him a charming and manly rugged edge. Jason was right, he was good looking! At that moment George walked into the room, and a puzzled expression was etched on his face before turning into the"the look" one given many time's by Larry when he saw me gazing at some thing i shouldn't be. "breakfast is ready sleeping beauty" is all he said before giving me a wink and returning to the others. My cheeks where attacked by flames! A lustrous shade of crises cascaded down my face until it was almost glowing with embarrassment. A guilty smile monoverd it's way onto my unwilling lips as i rushed out the room. But i couldn't see any body like that again, i would become a burden to them. It was unfair to assume that they would be respectful of my situation and take into consideration the issues my past May cause. I couldn't do that, despite my feelings. Never again could i share the love of another.
Never again could i be loved...
*/* short again, i know, sorry :( i am hoping the next will be longer and more interesting :) thank you for reading. The song for this chapter is heaven in your arms by Florence and the machines. Odd choice, but i think it expresses summers fear of being in a relationship. So, thanks again *\*
