Forever Captive

Chapter 18

His chest vibrates with a loud purr of satisfaction as the grey in his eyes gives way to a light indigo. If I had to guess, he's very happy with my answer.

His tongue flicks rapidly against my cheek as his tail gently but quickly curls around my body. I chuckle softly before hesitating, gently stating, "If you... want to learn about more human gestures of affection, I know very few."

"Drink, first. I will fetch you food. It is my understanding that humans have preferences between plant and meat. Does that also extend to you?" Aska hisses, pulling away just slightly as the color in his eyes continues to deepen.

"Oh, I can't eat right now." I shut him down with a weak smile, "I really can't drink anything, either. I, um... I do not have a functional digestive system."

I was using the water to make me be able to speak, but my lack of both resources will make my healing slower. All I can really do is wait. I know the order of what heals first, though. My organs take priority once my body has closed up enough that they won't fall out, then nerves, then the various muscles and ligaments, and then the bone. Right now, considering it's been probably about twenty to thirty minutes, whatever was sliced through has healed. I just need the nerves there to make them work. That will take another hour or so, considering I'm healing in other places at the same time.

He hisses slightly but moves farther away, "I will hunt. That will give you time to heal, no?"

I sigh again but nod with a smile, "If that is what you wish."

He leaves me alone at the spring and I finally remember the bag of darts that I still have tied around my waist. I don't know what to do with them. I guess I'll offer to burn the tents and bodies that stain the beach. Until then, all I can do is hold onto them while I heal.

In all of the knowledge I possess and the shit I've done, I really do still forget the most simple of things. Of course, this entire thing is fairly new to me. I haven't been targeted by other nations to gain power... though that was likely because they didn't know about me. Scientists who got a little too curious, sure, but never soldiers. Maybe that fried my brain?

Why is it I feel so much more human on this island? Is it so foreign to be in a new place that I haven't been before? Is it that I've finally torn away from what I have known all my life? Is freedom this... aggravating? I don't want to have these questions. 

I don't want to feel as foreign and clueless as I do. I... just wanted freedom, and I thought death would be the only way to do that. I never learned survival things, let alone how to develop a relationship. I treated all of my colleagues and assistants distantly because that's all I knew, and to my knowledge they appreciated that. I never... learned. I don't understand what Aska expects from me. To be fair, I also don't know what his version of a relationship is. Considering it starts with a fight to near death, it may be vastly different.

I guess I should learn... however long it takes to do so. Especially if I don't have to live with the fact that he would age and die while I remain completely healthy. My father always told me that anybody would resent me if they grow old while I stay the epitome of... what did he say? "The peak of human life," or something along those lines.

Maybe Aska wouldn't be like that, anyway. If his other option was lonely, secluded life... I guess choosing a self-destructive monstrosity isn't unreasonable. He'd have me for as long as he'd like if I just told him I'd stay, which I did. I'm his cure to loneliness, and he is... ironically, the one that allowed me a small hope of freedom. At first, death. And then his unknowable strength apparently convinced the people on the mainland that I died. He saved me. I have to hope that he won't grow tired of my uselessness and, apparently, stupidity. It was incredibly risky to try to convince the mainland camp that I died using another person's voice. I'm surprised that it worked. Maybe they were just looking for a reason to abandon me after all. Now they have and...

I feel like I agreed to this far too quickly. I'm here because of his generosity. He's clearly smart enough to understand that. And yet he sees me as strong.

I stare into the black water, my reflection nearly nonexistent in the dim light of a waning moon. If unnaturally— at least in humans— yellow eyes and a now matted mess of brown hair are what such a dignified and graceful naga deems to be attractive, he's probably as insane as I am. I have nothing to lose, I guess.

His company is pleasant, and his physical contact doesn't scare me like anybody else's has. Maybe that's because our initial interaction was out of a mutual desire to have me dead, and then he stopped. He seemed genuinely remorseful about hurting me accidentally. That's more than the people that wrote it off and expected my forgiveness because I couldn't be "hurt" from it.

He's better. 

I didn't even notice the soft smile on my lips, but it remains even as my eyes reflexively widen. I haven't smiled like this since I was first allowed to watch a movie. I'm happy, am I? I guess I'm more relaxed than normal, considering that I'm not worried about the little nocturnal creatures that are creeping up to me in curiosity. Maybe they want some of the blood that I'm covered in or are curious why I breathe without it.

A little dragonfly-like critter lands on my finger when I lift it up and I peer at it, transfixed by the way the light from the moon and stars causes its small wings to glitter. I don't know all that much about insects, but it's just resting. It doesn't look like it wants to bite me and I certainly don't want to eat it. It's beautiful. 

Even as it flies off when I move slightly, I still watch it as a handful of other ones finally seem to accept that I offer no harm and slowly flock around me. I feel like one of those witches or fairies in some of the books I could read when I was younger.

Until, that is, there's a familiar deep hiss from where I'm not looking that sends them all scattering from me.