Moments In Between

Chapter 4

WARNING: This chapter contains scenes that may be triggering. Includes suicidal thoughts and suicide.

Songs for This Chapter: "Swim Good" by Vox & "Truce" by Twenty-One Pilots

Only three and a half hours into the shift and Leanna already wanted to leave. She didn't want to go home and waste away in her bed and she had no friends to escape to, but she definitely didn't want to be here. Placing herself at the espresso bar was the only thing getting her through the first half of this shift.

The short and plump store manager shot out of the back, clipboard in hand and her face twisted in disdain.

"Leanna do you think you would have time to step off the floor and connect with me in the back room for a bit? I'll have Brenden take over as keyholder for now." The smile and bat of her lashes were scarily fake and made Leanna's heart start to race.

What had she done? She couldn't think of anything major as of late that would cause this; so she tried to take a deep breath and not look like a scared deer. Leanna handed the store keys to the other shift lead before following the manager into the back.

There was no official back room or office to have a private conversation in. The back room consisted of a narrow walkway crowded by huge fridges and a dish washing station on one side, piles of product and boxes on the other. Then at the back of the hall was a small square of space that could only hold a desk and a break table, the chairs to both would have to be used one at a time or be carefully rearranged. The manager took the smaller metal chair that was paired with the break table and held out her hand, palms up, motioning to the computer chair. Leanna didn't have a single thought going through her head as she sat down. The only thing that occupied her mind was the feeling of the foam that had bursted from the old faux leather of the chair rubbing against her jeans. How the white light of the back room, that she had always hated, was suddenly too bright and clinical. There was a huge ball of anxiety in her stomach and it felt like a clown had jammed a balloon animal into the front of her head. The silence felt too long and she realized her inability to breathe wasn't the anxiety but rather she had been holding her breath without thinking.

Her manager clicked on sympathetic eyes as she clasped her hands together, "So, I wanted to talk about your position here and your performance as of late," The woman paused expecting Leanna to say something but she couldn't form words, "I know things have been extremely hard for you with the loss of your father and having to move here suddenly. You're an exceptional worker and I saw great growth potential in you.."

But

Leanna was waiting for the 'but' and had to remind herself again to release the breath caught in her throat.

"But as of recently your forgetfulness and low mood is something that we just can't continue to have at this company. The negativity can be contagious and we like to try and keep all of our employees in a good environment." The manager stared blankly at Leanna, waiting.

"I-I'm sorry... It's just w-we," Leanna could feel her eyes starting to burn and she had to take a deep intake of breath in order to finish her sentence, "We've only ever had coaching conversations about this a-and it's not like I'm not trying to do better."

The manager's lips pressed together in a firm line before she exhaled through her nose, "The company, and myself, just think it's better if you take a bit of time away from work and figure things out. Like I said, you're a very hard worker when you put your mind to it. There will definitely be a spot here for you in the future."