Do you still love me?

friendship

I saw her shivering, extending my hand to approach her. I exhaled but she shouted " Just go away!!! "
" Sha… . "
"Get out you fucking rapist "  She screamed out her lungs. She never shouted at me. And her tears were enough to make me sober.

" Baby, I am not rapist, I am om, your husband "
" What husband? Don't call yourself my husband, just stay away from me, you all men are the same. You want only one thing, just pleasure, that's it.Nothing matters for you, no love,no connection,just sex.and I am stupid enough to expect love among all the jeks.
Now I understand why you suddenly changed after marriage. I refused to fuck you, and you have been abusing me from more than one month, like who the fuck you think you are. A God?? And what am I, a dall?"

" Shalin, please calm down!! "

" What if I don't huh?? What a coward like you would do  ? You are gonna hit me?? Gonna choke me?? Go ahead!! But I promise Om, if you dare to touch me, this is the last talk you are gonna have with me.
I would just kill myself!! You get my point. "

What is she saying??

" Go away Om please!! " I stepped off the bed, but surely I am leaving her like that, especially after what she said! What if she actually killed herself "

" Listen baby, I am sorry to upset you but please calm yourself down, we can talk about it " I said calmly.
" I said get out of my sight!! " She grabbed a vase from the night stand before throwing it in my direction.
" Aah!! " That literally hitted my head.

" Do you want to taste your own medicine? Do you want me to hit you?? " She cried, and I really don't know what I should do to stop.
I can't just walk away, I shouldn't.
I am sure if she is going to hit me again but I care less about it. I walked towards her.
" I said don't come near me ! ! " I ignored her scream and took a seat beside her.

" I am telling you if you touch me Om, I am… . . . " I cut her off by pulling her in my chest, I wrapped my arms around her trembling body.
She tried to push me, she hitted my chest with her fist but gave up after some time .
She bursted in my embrace.
I felt her palms clenching on my shirt, I felt wet on my chest, her tears. I sensed her sobbing.

I put my left hand on her hair and started stroking her hair. I really don't know how to comfort crying people but I know everything when it comes to her.
God knows how.
She was calming down, slowly.

I sighed, I didn't notice when tears escaped from my left eye.

" Why did you do that, Om? Why?? " She hiccuped.
" I am sorry!! "
" Why did you come into my life!! "
"I am sorry " I apologised.
" Why did you save me?? You should have let me die? " She cried hard this time.
" I am sorry!! "
" Why were you trying to be my sunshine if you wanted to push me in darkness!! If our friendship means nothing to you, then why did you try to make it so beautiful?? "
" That's not true, Shalin. You mean the world to me!! "

" I am not talking about what I mean to you. I am talking about what our friendship means to you!! It doesn't mean anything to you, just be honest with me, you never looked at me as a friend "

I closed my eyes. It's true, I never intended to be her friend. I always looked at her as a woman. But all the things I did to make her happy that time weren't fake.
I never knew that my intention to bring her out of depression would make me her good friend.
We had a beautiful bond  , we were close, everything was so nice but one day I proposed to her to marry me.

I always liked her.
And she just married me because she had no reason to reject me.
She refused at first but I did everything to convince her . I wasn't wrong there. My only mistake was I never told her what Om Kapoor actually is.
And she still doesn't know.

" What did you say,' Shalin , friends can Marry each other, love can happen after that, friendship is really necessary in husband wife. ' and I trusted you Om. You said marriage would never affect our friendship, but tell me now, if I was truly your friend, would you have tried to rape me "
Her words were stabbing me. She wasn't in her right senses but she was speaking facts.
I would call myself innocent if I had treated her well.
Being an abusive husband wasn't something I really want.

" I am sorry!! " I whispered.

I kept on stroking her hair, I pressed my lips on the side of her head.
" I am really sorry baby!!! I ruined every beautiful thing between us, but I am not lying, I really love you!! "