Do you still love me?

the argument

I wrapped my arms around his neck and his arms gripped my waist.  I shut my eyes in happiness, pain , satisfaction and what not.
Happiness and satisfaction we finally met. I was dying for his warmth.
And pain because the distance between us was too much for me to bear. Not in physical sense, but in connection, in emotional bonding , we were far apart.
I melted in his touch, and my hiccups muffled on his shoulder.
He was pulling me closer than we already were.
" I know you didn't miss me!! ” he chuckled " But I missed you so fuckin much, wifey!! "

I didn't answer. I focused on his warmth than his words. I don't want to feel sad recalling sad things.
After almost five minutes we pulled apart from each other.

" Just wait!! " He stepped back pulled me with him towards his car. I didn't protest when he asked me to slip inside his car.
It's like I was doing every single thing he wanted me to do.
I was shocked to know that he brought a cake for me. This is not his type of thing. He made me hold the cake and I did.
I watched him placing a candle on cake and he lit it with a lighter.
He handed me the knife and took cake in his hand.
" Please! ” he gestured towards the cake and I nodded.
I blew the candle and then cut the cake. He bought the strawberry cake. I am not surprised by the fact that he doesn't know my favorite flavor. He doesn't know lots of thing about me.
He feed me the little slice of cake " Happy twenty third Shalin!!”

" Thank you but it's twenty four!! " I said with a nervous smile and his smile faded.

" I am sorry ”
" It's fine, I didn't even expect you to remember the date, but you did. It's a big deal”
I have no intention to make him feel guilty, but if he is it's not my fault.
I wiped the corner of my lips to clean the cream from my face. I didn't bother to feed him a cake. I don't want to and I don't need to.
" I am sleepy , need to go!! ”
I turned to exit but he held my wrist " Stay for sometimes? ” I didn't turn to face him " Why should I? ”
I heard a heavy sigh " Shalin!! ”
I blinked my eyes to avoid the tears.
" We hadn't talked in past three weeks, you have no idea how much I missed you, I am dying to hear your voice, I am dying to have two minutes with you and it's your birthday, can't we spend a little time together? ”

I final turned to face him " Spend time together? ”
I let out a sarcastic laugh " How do you want me to spend time with you , just by sitting here and stay silent, to see your pathetic face? Don't you realize how awkward it is? ”
I saw his throat working with a hard swallow but where was the lie?
He is pathetic and it's true.

" I know you are not comfortable with me but half an hour won't hurt ”

Again, again again.
I don't know when will he understand me. I didn't say a word about comfort. This man will be the reason of me getting arrested. I will literally murder him once I lost my patience.
" See, don't just sit here and watch my pathetic face, we can go for a drive ” he offered and I scoffed at him.
"Like this?? ” I gestured towards myself. I am in my pjs.
" It's just a drive. ” he shrugged his shoulders casually and I turned my head towards the window. I didn't say a word but fasten my seat belt.

" Thanks!! ”
I didn't bother to reply him. He put that cake in box and kept it on his previous place.

He started the engine and I hit the power button of music system.
After a good minute of silence he initiated the conversation " How are you? ”
" Good” I replied without looking at him. I was staring outside the window whole time.
" Aren't you curious? ”
" For? ” this time I looked at him in confusion.
" About how am I? ” I can sense hope in his question. He wants me to be curious about his situation.
" No. Why would I? ” I acted as if I don't care. But I was dying to get a glimpse of him. A text from him? No.
I can sense by his face that I hurted him but he pushed me to the limits. He pushed me too hard to be how am I.