Redwood High 2

Chapter 11

On TV people always talk about having an out of body experience. They say it's scary, how your entire body freezes up almost as if you were paralyzed. That's something I never want to experience ever again. Not having control over your body or emotions or reactions? It sucks.

I don't remember walking downstairs with the board game. I don't remember playing it with everybody else or laughing with everybody else. I don't remember everyone leaving. I didn't feel the kiss Sebastian gave me before he left, hours after everyone else. I remembered going to bed. And crying. Shouting. This wasn't me mourning. It wasn't me mourning after my parents. It wasn't me mourning for the family I was neglected. It was I mourning the Grace who was weak. My parents have hid this away for my whole life. If my mom didn't go crazy and kill my dad, would they have ever told me about the aunt I never knew? The half sister that most likely caused the rift between my mom and Aunt Gwen? Would I have gone my whole life believing the lie that my father was the best man on earth? I would have. I don't remember going to sleep.

I remember the tears that rolled off my bed and into the dark abyss.

***

I didn't care anymore that my cousin was involved with drugs. I never asked about that girl we left in the hospital. I gave my aunt 'yes' or 'no' answers. I became cold. Riley and Carol knew something was wrong. I stayed away from Giselle. She didn't deserve that. She did nothing wrong. But I couldn't bring myself to look at her. I'm a horrible selfish person, I know.

The DECA trip was arriving. I was preparing myself for that. I needed to focus on something, anything. DECA is the point of marketing; the driving force behind the entire marketing program. I was going to give it my all.

After my boyfriend of course. Valentines Day is approaching.

***

"Boys like Playboy magazines. Why don't you get Sebastian an issue?" Carol and I were shopping for Valentine's Day gifts. Her and Ethan were questionable but I guess it was enough to go shopping for each other.

"Ok, 1, how would I even get a Playboy issue? And 2, I'm not giving him a magazine with half naked and naked woman. He has me."

"He was a manwhore before you guys became an official thing. It's not like he hasn't seen any of that before."

"Please, I do not want to think of other girls being with him."

Carol poked my sides. "Does it make you jealous? I hear jealousy sex is amazing."

I scoffed. "I'm a virgin unlike some people,"- I gave her a look- "and yes it does make me jealous. He's Calvin Klein model good and I'm an Old Navy model. And that's if I even get considered into their little catalogues."

"Grace you're hot as fuck. I'd tap that."

I smiled and continued browsing. Tomorrow was Friday, aka Valentines Day. And on Saturday we leave for our DECA trip. I was glad I was getting out of the house. I couldn't even bear looking at my cousin let alone my aunt. I didn't know how to bring up this situation.

Carol and I were in the jam-packed mall in hopes to find a good gift. I hate coming to the mall, especially when it's crowded and especially around holidays. But I would do anything to exit the house.

"Did Sebastian drop any hints on what he's getting for you?" asked Carol.

I shook my head. "No. He gave no indication about Valentine's Day. I'm guessing he forgot."

Carol scoffed. "That boy notices everything. He'll notice if your heartbeat quickens. I'm pretty sure he knows and that's what he wants you to think."

I saw Giselle with her family. Fake family. They were in the Starbucks that was across the Hallmark we were in. She turned and saw us. She waved. I didn't wave back. I pretended I didn't see her and walked away. I saw the hurt flash in her eyes. Carol didn't see her.

We walked out the door and lost ourselves in the crowd of shoppers.