Redwood High 2

Chapter 19

Everything's gonna be alright

I somehow made it home that night. The lights in the house were off and I was grateful for that. I made it to bed and was able to sleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. That was another thing I was grateful for.

Before, I wanted to hate my aunt. I wanted her to own up to ruining this family. I... I wanted it to be her fault. If it were her fault then that would mean my family is clean. It was selfish and ugly to think of but that's how I pictured it in my head.

But she was attacked. She was molested and invaded by my own father. He was the monster in this situation. Not my aunt or even my mother. It was all him. He was a rapist. He raped his wife's sister. How incredibly fucked up and ugly that is. I began to hate him. All this time I figured that my parents were the victims. My father the rapist and my mother who chose her husbands side over her own sister. Oh my god. I don't remember falling asleep, but I did. I was grateful for that.

***

A week passed since my aunt opened up about her past. She remained a little distant but I attempted to interact with her. Ever since she opened up I felt no more anger or resentment for her. I felt hollow and numb. I covered it up by telling her good morning and making her coffee in the mornings. She didn't deserve to open up by being forced. I was a monster as well.

It was Saturday morning when I walked down the stairs to grab a quick snack. She was sitting on the sofa, watching some television show. I had the urge to ask her questions, not about what she experienced, but about the daughter she gave up.

"Gwen..." I spoke softly. She stiffened and slowly turned her head to look at me.

"Yes?" She replied. I took a step forward into the living room.

"Do you live this close to Giselle on purpose?" I asked her. A sad look crossed her eyes.

"You- you don't have to answer I don't know why I asked, sorry to bother," I spoke really fast and quickly began to walk towards the kitchen.

"Yes," she replied. I stopped.

"I gave her up to adoption but I kept tabs on her. She's smart. She skipped 5th grade. 'A' Honor Roll since 3'rd grade. I see her every time I drop you off at school." She stopped. I felt like crying again. My aunt has lost everything. I wasn't the only victim here. She lost her family, her sister and her daughter.

"Is Kyle yours, biologically?" I asked.

She shook her head. "No. But in my heart he is."

"I'm sorry Aunt Gwen." That's all I said.

***

Things calmed down after that. I felt elated the following days after everything. The only person left to figure out was Giselle, but I wasn't going to tell her. I don't know if she would ever find out but I'm letting go of it. I've dealt with it for too much now and I don't want to bring any more of it back.

I don't know if I'll ever be close with my aunt either. I want to but I'm a constant reminder of my parents, of what they did to her. She's a constant reminder of the family that was hidden from me, stolen from me because of an ugly past. I don't know. It's all messed up. I did hate my parents however. I hated them. Every time I thought about them, resentment poured into my body.

School was ending. I needed the summer break that was approaching. After this year I don't think I could handle anymore of this drama.

I did begin talking to Giselle again. She didn't deserve to be punished for a situation she's clueless about. I apologized for being an asshole and sat with her at lunch. Despite the troubles I have with my family and at home, I still have amazing friends. I don't think I would survive everything that happens without them. I even have a boyfriend who understands. He gives me space and knows when I need him. There's always light in even the darkest situations.

We were at lunch when Sebastian pulled me to the construction area. I've never really been to see Construction or even Automotive for that matter.

"I've been making you something. I hope it makes you feel better." I smiled and followed him to the back where two guys were using some machine thing.

"It's for wielding," he explained to my confused myself.

"Is that what you wanted to show me, your electives?" He laughed.

"No, no come here." I walked over to the shelf he was standing by. There was a wooden block that had pretty designs engraved on it. Along the sides were the vines of a twisting flower. The middle had my name with a quote on it.

"'Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.'" Lao Tzu."

"I don't know everything that goes on with you but I can figure out that it's not good. So I want you to hang this in your room so you can see it everyday. Every time you're feeling down, you just look up at this and realize that everything is gonna be all right."

I hugged him and he wrapped his arms around me. I wanted to stay in his embrace forever. It didn't last forever. Something fell on top of us. There were loud crashes and screams. There was a ringing in my head. Large pieces of wood were on me. I didn't feel my legs.

Every single time, I thought. I didn't try. If I was going to die, then so be it. It was about time death caught up with me. So I laid there, waiting for it to come. I couldn't be happy, not even for a single moment. I heard my name.

"Grace!"

My eyes snapped open. No. I couldn't give up. It's not just me anymore. I have people who love me. I am lucky enough to have people who care for me. I pushed the heavy piece of wood that was on me with all my might. I could never, ever give up. "Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength..."

I finally got it off and took in a deep breath.

"Help! I'm right here!"

end of book 2