A Collection of Short Stories | Simon Riley "Ghost" x Reader

la douleur exquise: chapter 1

You and Ghost were sitting outside, relaxing after a mission while Ghost smoked a cigarette.

"Let me take a drag," you said, holding your hand out for the cigarette.

Ghost smirked. "Sure." He held the cigarette to his lips and took a drag before pressing his lips to yours, blowing the smoke into your mouth.

"Smoke tricks, huh?" you mumbled, your eyes widening a bit in surprise. As you exhaled the smoke, you realized how intimate the gesture was, especially coming from Ghost, who usually kept his emotions locked down like Fort Knox. A tingling warmth spread through you, making you momentarily forget the winter chill. It was more than the nicotine; it was the unexpected closeness, the small glimpse into whatever lay behind that ever-present mask of his. Your heart skipped a beat.

"You're awfully quiet tonight. Something on your mind?" you asked.

"Nothing on my mind, nothing at all," Ghost muttered. He paused to take a drag, then exhaled, and the smoke rolled out of his mouth, lingering in the air between you. It was a bit chilly out tonight, and the wisps of smoke took on a life of their own as they blew in the wind. The moonlight illuminated the scars across Ghost's face.

"You seem awfully chatty," Ghost stated.

"Chatty? Maybe I'm just trying to fill the silence you're so good at creating," you responded with a bit of a teasing edge. "But if you've got nothing on your mind, then I guess we're both just lost in our thoughts or lack thereof." You chuckled softly, your eyes still searching his for some hint of his true feelings.

Ghost exhaled smoke as he took another drag. As he blew the smoke out, he looked at you, and his eyebrows furrowed slightly. He remained still for a moment as if contemplating whether to share his thoughts.

Finally, he spoke. "You know I care for you," he said. "I have for a while now, but I keep it inside because I don't want to be a distraction to you."

His words landed like a ton of bricks, not because they were unexpected but precisely because they weren't. You'd both been dancing around this unspoken thing between you for years now. You felt a mixture of relief and vulnerability wash over you.

"Ghost, you could never be a distraction," you responded, your voice full of emotion. "I've known how you feel, just as I think you've known about me. The job comes first; we've always agreed on that. But that doesn't mean what's between us is insignificant."

Ghost remained silent for a moment, looking at you with an intensity that made your heart race. It was as if he could see right into your soul. Then he looked away. "I can't let myself get too close. Not again." Ghost shook his head.

You could see the pain and anger within him, and for a moment you wondered if this was the reason he was so cold and detached. Your heart broke for him, but you knew nothing you could say would convince him otherwise.

You felt a sharp pang of sadness, mixed with a bit of frustration, as he spoke and turned away. His words were like walls going back up, brick by emotional brick. You wanted to reach out, to tear down that barrier he was so adept at constructing, but you also knew him well enough to understand that some walls can't be scaled so easily.

"I get it, Ghost," you reply softly. "But we both have something at stake. We've seen and lost so much. That doesn't mean we can't have something real between us." You let the weight of your words hang in the air, hoping he would grasp the depth of your sentiment, hoping he'd understand that his fears, while valid, weren't his alone to carry.

You could almost see the conflicted feelings playing across Ghost's face. He was battling with himself, and there was nothing you could say or do to convince him that everything would be okay. Your words pierced through his barriers, and he knew you were right, but he couldn't risk losing what little he had left.