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This weekend was indeed... something.

Franco stayed at my house, and we spent most of our time here, just talking and enjoying each other's company. It felt just like when we were just friends. I offered to go out and enjoy the city, but he was persistent with the idea of staying in, so i didn't bother to keep insisting. The only time i went out, was on Sunday, i met up with Charles to catch up. And god was he pissed when i told him everything. We have this thing of speaking in other languages when we are mad, when i'm mad i talk in French, but since we were in Monaco and everyone speaks French or English, he decided to go with Italian.

His hand gestures were scary.

flashback...

Non posso crederci! Vi siete baciati proprio sotto il mio naso e lo vengo a sapere solo ora! Una settimana intera dopo. Per l'amor del cielo! — Charles said out loud, right after i finished telling him what happened, moving his hands frenetically.— E cazzo, ho perso la mia scommessa con Mick, mi ha detto che voi due vi sareste baciati in meno di un mese e io ho detto 3 mesi, non potevi aspettare un minuto?

(I can't believe it! you two kissed right under my nose and i'm just hearing about it now! A whole week later. For fucks sake. - And fuck, i missed my bet with Mick, he told me you two would kiss in under a month and i said 3 months, couldn't you have waited a minute?)

I crossed my arms and looked at him with a confused expression, my knowledge of Italian was near nonexistent. All i knew was ciao, Forza Ferrari, and do that hand gesture they always do. What i did catch was Mick's name.

— Didn't catch a word, Charlie.

He takes a deep breath, calming himself down.— Forget it. So, Franco is at your apartment right now? And Oscar is coming tomorrow to get breakfast with you? Damn.

— Yes and Yes. Everything with Franco went well, but I'm not sure how my conversation with Oscar is gonna turn out.

— Well, he likes you but if he truly cares for you he's not gonna get mad or anything if you turn him down, he has to respect your decision.— he shrugged his shoulders, as if he was just repeating the obvious.— Just tell him you're in a relationship.

— But i am not, Franco and i aren't dating, we are "a thing" if you want to call it something.

— ¡¿You aren't?! Well, that's good, you still have time to run.— I hit his arm and rolled my eyes. Charles lifts his hands and lets out a smuggled laugh.— Sorry, I'm not his biggest fan, something inside me tells me something is going on.

end of flashback...

That conversation left me thinking a lot, i would always make fun of Charles for having a sixth sense, a lot of times he "feels" something, and that something ended up being true. But it wasn't always, so this just might be one of those times where his intuition fails, right? Anyway, Franco left last night, he caught a late flight and went back to his place in Spain. He didn't race this weekend like us, so he wanted to stay home and rest. I was relieved he didn't come with me to the race, having him and Oscar at the same place would be a lot for me and i needed to be completely focused on the race.

Now, it was Monday morning and i was finishing cleaning up my place. It was nine a.m, i still had one hour until Oscar arrived, one hour to calm down and to get my thoughts in line. I knew what i had to say, but it didn't feel right to say it, just like it didn't feel right when i had that talk with Franco and we continued with "our thing". I was confused, and there was nothing i hated more than feeling like this. It was a big step for me to even accept i was confused and even bigger to accept how my feelings for Franco weren't as strong as i believed. Spending these days with him made me realize that, as i mentioned before, it felt just like we were two friends, catching up and enjoying each other company, the only difference was that we would kiss now and then, but after every kiss, i tried to change the topic, almost as if i was trying to run away. 

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