The Dark is Patient [a.s]

Let's Try Again

  Her boots tapped along the stone floors as she walked, her hand trailing along the wall as she went and her fingers danced over ridges in the cool rock. Anakin's request, or she should really say demand, was still echoing around in her head like a rogue beam from a blaster. Stay put. She clenched her jaw at the words, annoyed that she was being treated like some pet on house arrest.

He wasn't in control of her, he wasn't allowed to dictate what she could and couldn't do. He may have been her Master, but when he decided the Order's time was up he also gave up his authority over her. Something she was beginning to realize he probably didn't believe or even consider. Anakin had always liked being in control of things since he never seemed to have a good grasp of himself. The Order and Obi-Wan tried to keep a tight leash, but it was never going to last long. The aggression and anger that fueled Anakin was always going to outweigh his agency to serve the Order and the Republic.

So he had done what he could. Leading thousands of troops into battle, all of them obeying his beck and call. Fighting in the stars, a master of piloting space crafts and controlling the mechanics of war. Training her, guiding her to be the best warrior the galaxy had ever seen and taking her place in the legacy of untraditional Jedi. None of it had been enough, he didn't have what he needed for fulfillment. He couldn't control the trust that the Council lacked, couldn't control his emotions over Padme, couldn't control his fear over losing the love of his life, couldn't control the greed for power that ate at his insides.

Despite Ahsoka's anger towards him, she couldn't help but feel pity for Anakin. Yes, she had been through her own hell with the Order. But Anakin was never going to come out of it unscathed. Too many had unreasonable expectations for him and when he didn't follow what they had visioned he was villainized. He was too old when he was first brought to Coruscant, too old to be fully indoctrinated into the mindset the Jedi deemed acceptable. He was a wayfaring child that would never have a secure restraint on himself, and despite everything, Ahsoka loved that about him.

When talking to other Padawan's about their Master's, she had always been put off by their lack of a deep connection. Hell, she'd even witnessed some Master's leave their Padawan's to die. Claiming there was nothing to do, and though they would mourn they couldn't dwell. Sure, that should be the correct way to operate in the Order. That's what she should tell herself. The greater good. But she always felt comforted in the fact that Anakin would do anything for her, she knew he would always be there for her when everyone else might've left. She could be stranded and thought to be dead for years and she knew in her heart Anakin would never stop searching for her.

Which both ripped her apart and stitched her back up all at once. Anakin would do anything for her, but she was horrified by what that might entail. He had committed atrocities for Padme and he justified them, deranged in his own definition of love.

She came to a stop in front of a massive door, and it groaned with its own weight as it slowly slid open. Light poured into the hall she was in, a bright and hot orange that glowed from the lava that poured. Ahsoka blinked as the hangar came into view before her, its ceiling opened and the far wall nonexistent, giving view to the volcanic terrain of the planet. She slowly walked forward and looked around but there wasn't much. There were a few ships, most looking battle worn and her stomach sunk at the thought of what might've happened.

There was a clang of metal and flinched, turning quickly but it was just a group of droids fixing up another ship on the other side of the hangar. Her eyes flicked around, trying to find one that was in one piece as her mind began to race at the possibility of actually leaving. Anakin wasn't here, and to be honest she didn't think she'd get another opportunity. Her eyes found a small cargo ship in a corner and she took off in a sprint, staying alert in case anything jumped from the shadows.