Behind the Scenes: World Cup 2023

Consolation jokes

19th October, India vs Bangladesh

India had all but won the match with 20-odd runs were left in the chase.

Going by that, you would expect a peaceful atmosphere in the dressing room and amongst the batsmen on the field, Virat and Rahul.

Contrary to that, a heated argument was going on mid-pitch.

"Why did you not run?" Virat demanded.

"So you stay on strike and get those 20 runs," said Rahul.

"You know I don't like the personal milestone thing, Rahul-"

"Only your own," muttered Rahul. "You care about everyone's milestones but yours. Maybe someone should care about yours, too. Maybe that someone is me. And-" He looked at the dressing room, where Rohit was waving his hand and gesturing wildly what looked like, 'stay put, stay put.' "-yep, and Rohit, too." Rahul waved back, saying, 'I know, I know.'

"What are you guys even gesturing?" asked Virat suspiciously.

"That you're going to get this hundred, whether you want to or not, Virat," said Rahul. "I'm not going to score a single run more. Do the maths. India needs 15. You score 15. We win. And we get your century too."

Rahul turned and stalked to the non-striker's end.

Drama queen, thought Virat.

The next ball, Virat automatically tried to rotate the strike again.

And Rahul refused to run, again.

"This doesn't look good, Moi," Virat said between the two overs. "This doesn't look good at all."

"I don't care how it looks," said Rahul impatiently. "Or maybe I do care how it'll look on me if I deny you the century. The stories of Rohit denying you the century in India vs Bangladesh, semi final of Champions Trophy 2017, are famous all over the country."

"What?" said Virat, blankly. "When did Rohit deny me a century?"

"You don't remember," said Rahul darkly. "The media does."

"Who cares what the media says?"

"This doesn't look good, Moi," Rahul imitated. "This doesn't look good at all."

"You're spending far too much time with Rohit lately," complained Virat.

"Which is surely a good thing," said Rahul innocently. "Go and get the remaining runs within this over, Virat, and I can have my day end on a peaceful note."

"Peaceful note?"

"Yeah, so I don't have to hunt for consolation jokes." Rahul winked. And walked off again for the dramatic effect.

***

Flashback-11 days ago

Since Team India left the stadium of Chennai after having defeated Australia in their opening match, Virat was being obnoxious.

He kept flaunting his best fielder medal, he kept batting at Rahul's head for his last intended four that accidentally went for a six, he kept passing comments to Rohit's rather emotional admission of, "God couldn't have given us a better blessing that you, Virat," he kept declaiming sappy Hindi movie dialogues nonstop, and when he was begged to stop by Rohit and Rahul, started imitating his favourite serial scene-"Kal mere saari par juice gira tha, aur mai dobara nahane gayi thi-"

"Please," said Ash. "Please, stop."

"Tum chane cooker pe lagakar mere paas ayi thi, tab rasode me kaun tha?"