Behind the Scenes: World Cup 2023

My responsibility

"You're shirking your responsibility." 

Virat's boisterous voice shattered Rohit's quiet, contemplative trance in the balcony.

"Stop shouting," said Rohit. "Also, what responsibility did I shirk?"

"Ash reminded me of our role in the team earlier today. According to that, you were supposed to see if Ishan and Jassi are brooding in the balcony," said Virat, "instead of brooding in the balcony yourself."

Rohit recalled a conversation at the start of the World Cup, when it had hit allof them all of a sudden that this was their first World Cup without Mahi bhai. They had been seniors in 2019, too, but Mahi bhai had been the real backbone, keeping everyone up, checking on everyone, holding everyone together. This time, that was their responsibility. Rohit's. Virat's. Ash's. Jaddu's.

If and when they reached the knockouts, they would have to keep the youngsters from getting into the zone of overthinking and protect them from paralyzing attacks of nerves. They had even jokingly decided who was whose responsibility.

Jassi and Ishan were, of course, automatically Rohit's.

"What are those two up to?" asked Rohit, who had forgotten all about it and had been in the balcony right since they returned from the optional practice session on the eve of the semi final.

"You're supposed to know."

"You're supposed to help me with bowling changes instead of dancing to Chaleya on the field, as well," said Rohit. "People rarely do what they're supposed to do. Are Ishan and Jassi okay?"

"Yep," said Virat.

"Then you could've not come and disturbed me, too," suggested Rohit.

"I came because you are my responsibility," said Virat smoothly. 

He caught Rohit's arm and tried to pull him inside, but Rohit didn't budge. A stray cracker from the aftermath of Diwali lit their faces red-gold. Against it, Rohit's eyes were too bright.

Virat stopped tugging at his arm and joined him along the railing.

"It was twelve years ago, in this city, my city," said Rohit, "when I made the most difficult phone call of my life. To you."

Virat could never forget it.

"I think I'm going mad, Virat. It feels like the heartbreak of losing the 2003 World Cup in the final is finally healed--and I feel so happy it's almost scary--but--but...I wish I was there so badly, I don't think I've ever felt worse, either. Everyone in so happy, I must be the only person in the whole country who is not feeling undiluted joy, Virat. I'm so pathetic--I'm such a terrible person, I can't even..."

"I know," said Virat. "Things have changed a lot since then, haven't they?"

"Yeah," said Rohit. "We lost Mahi bhai. We became chokers."

"Seriously, will you stop it?"

"Sorry."

"You should be! Didn't Mahi bhai say not to talk about it? What would you tell the kids if they said such stuff?"

"Sorry...I'm really sorry...I shouldn't have said that, I shouldn't even have thought that, today...I'm so sorry--"

Virat pulled Rohit into a tight hug to make him stop apologizing.

"The worst part is sometimes I don't even know why it matters so much," said Rohit after a while. "That thing with a golden globe and three silver pillars. Everyone says it's the journey that matters, not the result. Everyone knows--everyone including us--that sometimes you can give your all and still not have the result you wished for. We've been playing so long, surely we should have accepted by now that wins and losses are a part of the game. Why does that trophy matter so much, Virat?"

"You know, I never thought that way," said Virat. "All I know is that is matters more than anything."

"I wish it didn't matter so much," said Rohit.

"Me too. Then maybe we could just go out there, have fun with nine bowlers...and win the knockouts easily."

"You could dance in between, too."

"That, I still will," assured Virat.

Rohit's smile was sad. It made Virat feel as if it was already tomorrow night, and the result hadn't been good.

"Stop it, Ro. You're depressing me," Virat chided. "Come and play foosball for a bit before dinner."

"No, thanks."

"Why?"

"Foosball is too...chaotic. And it always cheers us up. I don't think that's the right spirit to have tonight."

"Nonsense," said Virat, dragging Rohit out and going in hunt of people to play with. They came across Ash and Jaddu sitting on the stairs. "Hey, you two, come down. Foosball."

Jaddu, who had been slumped against the wall, needed some persuasion, but soon they were playing a mini match of hand cricket to decide partners. Ash won and chose Virat (they were the better players, so an unfair teaming), and Jaddu thumped the table.

"Oh, look, it's people who have won a World Cup vs people who have never!" he said, very brightly.

Rohit, Virat and Ash gave him dirty looks.

"Sorry," drawled Jaddu. "Oreo says not to say anything."

"That's right, as you've been telling me for the past four hours," Ash said.

They started the game. Virat straightaway scored a goal through Rohit's defense.

"I wonder," Rohit said conversationally, as Virat put another goal through, "when Jaddu will finally realize that we three are already professionals at recognizing his insensitive jokes aimed at pretending he doesn't care."

"Shut up and defend the goal," said Jaddu, in a rare tone of irritation.

"And that," added Virat, as Jaddu scored one through Ash's defense, "the jokes are therefore redundant, 'cause they're not fooling us."

Jaddu, suddenly looking mad, let his knobs go with the result that Ash sent the ball flying all the way to the opposite goal.

"I can't play if you don't stop talking," said Jaddu.

"Stop distracting him, Virat!" Rohit accused.

"You started it!" said Virat. "Jaddu, wait!"

The three of them rushed to grab Jaddu, who had started sneaking away to the stairs.

"I don't want to play foosball," said Jaddu. "I want to go the balcony and remember the past 10 years and ask the world why it never matters what we've done for the whole damn tournament when it's our turn to go and lose in the knockouts."

"You're not allowed to do that," said Rohit. "I'm not going to allow that."

"Why not? Because you're captain?"

"No," said Rohit, with a tiny smile at Virat. "Because you are my responsibility."

The four of them, each other's responsibilities, linked arms and strolled out into the lawns together.