Harwal, book 3

Chapter 33

//

I have a lot of stuff going on IRL, so I haven't been able to write. Sorry for the long ass waits. <3

//

"So…do you want me or not?" I ask.

Harwal scrunches up his brow, more animated than I've ever seen, and then he opens his eyes with the most confused expression. "Do I want you?"

I jerk a nod. "You haven't…exactly been straightforward."

"You think I'm the one hesitating?" Harwal asks, leaning closer to me. "It is you who keeps hesitating."

My breath catches in my lungs. "I'm not," I breathe out. Y-you keep trying to scare me away with your caveman mentality, and you don't tell me how you feel."

"You are one difficult female," he says, narrowing his eyes. He nudges up my chin and presses a soft kiss on my lips, too short and gentle. He straightens up and shakes his head. "If you go to Miravaan, ask any other male what they would do if they were in my place. I won't do anything until you make your choice. But I must say, you are surprisingly dense."

"Dense," I repeat. That's something he should be described as.

Harwal huffs with a nod. "Very much so."

"You're skirting around the subject again." I get up and shrug excessively. "Why can't you just use words?"

I swear the dark room is making me hallucinate cause it looks like Harwal has a tiny smug smirk, but it's gone as soon as I 'spot it'.

"Don't ruin the excitement of discovery," he says with hooded eyes and gives me another tiny peck. "It should be so obvious."

"I must be the worst explorer if you think it is," I mumble and try to kiss him back, but he's already pulling away. I frown, but seeing him breathe through his mouth makes me stop.

Harwal turns to the vanity and takes a sandwich. "Now, where were you going?"

I bat my eyes in confusion. "What?"

"You said you had to go somewhere when you came here."

I scoff. "You're dropping the subject? Can't we talk this out now?"

Harwal scrunches up his nose and shakes his head. "I cannot," he says, wiping his nose. "I will wait until you're ready and—"

"I already decided I'm coming to your city when I came here, if it's about that," I interrupt him.

"But will you stay?" He points at the door while looking at my neck. "Could we not be in this tiny room? I don't feel good."

I slap my neck and grab the cursed dents. "Fine. I'm going to get the gravestone. It's in the park behind my apartment." I strom past him to the hallway and grumble in annoyance. I'm not going to be played. He hasn't given any words of confirmation.

Harwal stomps next to me, and I scowl. "What do you want?"

He huffs and takes my hand off my neck. I didn't even realise I'm still grasping it. "I'll come with you. Don't be angry."

Don't be angry? What an impossible request. Why can't he just say he likes me or wants me or something? It's all maybe's and if's.

I'm frustrated that Harwal can't say anything straight. Aaron was very straightforward, so I didn't have to have these mental gymnastics. He made sure I knew what he expected and how he felt.

I stop in front of the stairs and squeeze my eyes shut. I don't want to compare the two. They are very different, and it feels unfair to both of them.

I blow out a breath and turn to Harwal. "It's not far. Come on, let's get parasols before we go."