It's Hard (A Power Rangers Samurai Fanfic)

So Cold (Part 4)

A/N: Warning! This part contains thoughts of suicide and self harm, which could be triggers. Read at your own risk, physical and emotional.

It was about midnight, and Jayden had to use the bathroom. He left his room to go and do his business, but when he was coming back, he couldn't help but hear whimpering coming from Antonio's room. Jayden listened closely. Antonio was awake. Slowly, Jayden opened the door to the gold Ranger's room.
"A- Antonio?" He said. Antonio kept his head down. He was sitting over the edge of his bed. Jayden stepped closer. "Antonio?" Suddenly, Antonio started breathing faster. He started to cough as well, and his body started to shake. Jayden put his hand on Antonio's arm and gripped him tight. "Antonio?" He said, this time out of concern. Jayden couldn't get Antonio to stop, and it was starting to get bad. Jayden was about to go and get help, when Ji came in the room, hearing the noise. "Antonio?" He said. Ji quickly realized what was wrong and ran to Antonio's dresser. He opened the top drawer and pulled out an inhaler. He quickly shook it and placed the end into Antonio's mouth. He pressed it three times, and the color started to return to Antonio's face. The other Ranger's ran into the room. Ji noticed that there was a handprint on Antonio's arm.
"What were you doing?" Ji asked. "I- I heard him, and something didn't sound right, I was trying to get him to stop, I didn't know what was wrong. He was shaking and I put my hand on him and-" Jayden stammered. "Get him out of here." Antonio said, able to breathe again. Jayden stepped back. "What happened?" Ji asked Antonio. "I had a nightmare, about," Antonio stopped and nudged his head behind Ji. Ji understood that it was about Jayden, and nodded for him to go on. "I woke up and I was freaking out, and then Jayden came in and I couldn't breathe and-" "Jayden." Ji said, cutting Antonio off. "I think you should go." Jayden complied and left the room. Ji reassured Antonio, and made him go back to sleep. He sent the other Rangers to their rooms, but they talked on the way there. They were all furious with Jayden for causing Antonio this much pain.

***Samurai***

Jayden felt beyond sick. He felt sick before, but now it was worsening because of the immense guilt that was settling down on him. It only got worse when Ji came in. "Jayden," he said. "I'm disappointed in you. All you can do to Antonio is hurt him." "Ji it was an accident." Jayden argued. "I know. A lot of accidents seem to happen around you lately." Ji told him. "Every time I see you within ten feet of Antonio, I'll extend your punishment by a day." Jayden just nodded. Ji left. Jayden wanted to jump out the window. His team was mad at him. Ji was mad at him. Antonio was scared to death of him. Jayden didn't know what to do. He felt alone. No one understood that he didn't mean to hurt Antonio. Jayden felt cold.

***Samurai***

Ji and the other Rangers decided to go out the next day. They spent the day at the cultural fair, where there were lots of different activities and groups of people. Jayden was grateful, because at least then he wouldn't be able to get in trouble again. When he woke, he felt worse than ever. He was having thoughts. Bad thoughts. "Why don't I just end it?" "Everyone hates me." "I don't deserve anything, I hurt my best friend." The house was never this quiet. There was always some kind of noise. It was too quiet. Jayden walked into the kitchen to grab a knife. He looked down, and decided that he couldn't kill himself. He just couldn't. He settled for something else, what he decided was a better punishment. He looked down, and dragged the blade across his left wrist. The sight of the blood made Jayden dizzy, and he fell to the floor, going unconscious.