Red is the rose

Part 3

Well, time for the birthday party. It was Bobby's birthday. Birthday parties are always crazy, but not as crazy as a Patchover. But what did I expect after living with the sons since I was 1? When my mom left one day after dropping me off at the gate in a basket. I guess it became too much, I would have just held her back from the family that she really wanted. I loved it up here. Yeah, I didn't know who my father was. But I had 7 dads growing up. I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings by finding out who my dad was. I loved them all. Well most of them. Just because I was a girl it didn't stop them from treating me like one of the guys. I loved that about them. I love my best friend Mari but she's too much of a girly girl for me. Well off to find Mari and dumb ass 1 and dumb ass 2.

I grew up around bikers and wanted nothing more than to ride I am the epiphany of a biker chick. I know the bylines and no women are allowed in the club as members... I've decided that this is the night that I will tell Jax how I feel. After I have enough liquid courage that is. Now that I was out of school Gemma was finally letting me drink whenever I wanted. I mean I grew up with him. It shouldn't be this hard, but it is.

I went to find him not knocking before going into his room and finding him with a crow eater. He was riding her from behind. He looked up at me and our eyes met. I turned around and ran out the door up the hatch to the roof. The roof has always been a safe place to think and be alone. Jax and Opie showed it to me when I was old enough to sit up there. I looked around the roof and decided to go lay behind the central air system. I figured that no one would find me here it was where I usually hid when I was mad at Opie, Jax, or Happy who liked to pick on me cause I was short. As I lay there crying, I heard Jax and Opie yelling for me. I ignored them. I slept there that night falling asleep as I looked up at the stars. The next morning, I got up and went to my dorm to change my clothes. There was a knock on the door and Jax walked in.

"What was that last night Star? You know better than to walk in any room without knocking" He said.

"I didn't knock because if I did, I wouldn't have had the courage to say what I needed to". I reply looking down.

"And what was it you were trying to say." He asked.

"It doesn't matter now." I said walking to my bed.

"It must have been important if you said you needed courage to tell me." Jax said leaning against my door.

"You want to know what I wanted to tell you, Jax."

"Well, that's why I asked." He said rubbing his goatee.

"I've been in love with you since I was 11, I thought it was just an infatuation, but it never went away. Are you happy now?"

"Stella you're only 21 you haven't lived yet all you've seen is this clubhouse. You're just some kid it would never work." He replied.

I pushed past him saying "Well thanks for being gentle to some kid."

I walked by Chibs and grabbed the cigarette from his mouth and went back to the roof. I sat there and cried. I can't believe he thinks I'm some child. He's what 2 and a half years older than me. I heard someone opening the hatch, so I ran behind the central air system. It was Opie and Jax they were talking about what went down between me and Jax last night and this morning. Great everyone knew what happened. We'll all that's not going to matter soon.

"So, what's going on Jax?" Opie asked

"It's Star Op." Jax said lighting his joint. "she busted into my room last night and caught me fucking that blonde crow eater. She wanted to tell me she was in love with me."

"Wow. Well fuck, Jax. What did you say?" Opie said shocked.

"I told her that she hasn't lived and that she was just some kid."

"Damn Jax that's a low blow. She's 21. She's not a kid.'' Opie replied

"What am I going to do Op, I fucked up?"

"You need to find her Jax and talk to her."

"Alright. Let's go." Jax said

I stayed there until I heard the hatch open and close. I thought the coast was clear, but I was wrong Opie was sitting there holding out a cigarette for me. I sat next to him.

"Does everyone know?" I asked.

"No, he asked me some advice on how to handle everything." Opie said looking up at me.

"There's nothing to handle, after this weekend I won't be here."

"What do you mean you won't be here?" He asked.

"I got an early acceptance to Cal Arts. I'm leaving this weekend. Tell Donna and Mari bye for me please."

"What!" Opie yelled causing everyone on the lot to stop and look up at us.

"Yeah, Sunday morning, and I need your help. I'm selling the Sportster."

"Ella we all bought that for you. You can't sell it." Opie said looking sad.

"I'm done with that part of my life." I said getting up and going down the hatch.

I felt bad unloading all that on him and just leaving but I needed to. I needed to tell someone. When I got to my room I started packing. I lied for the first time to my best friend. I wasn't leaving Sunday I was leaving tonight after everyone went to bed. I was almost packed when there was a knock at my door.

"Go away I don't want to talk to anyone." I yelled.

"I have keys don't make me use them." Gemma yelled.

"Fine hold on Gemma." I said sarcastically. Damn, Gemma is always showing up at the worse times. I opened the door and she walked in.

"What's with the suitcases?" She asked.

"I got an early acceptance to Cal Arts. I'm leaving Sunday morning."

"This have anything to do with my dumbass son? and I'm throwing you a going away party, only family." She replied.

"This has nothing to do with Jackson." I snapped.

"Don't lie to me. You only call him that when you're mad. Let me guess you saw him with a crow eater last night." She replied knowingly.

I shook my head yes and started to cry.

"Stella he's a dumbass. I know you love him. I don't understand how he doesn't see it."

"Well he knows now, and he said I'm just a kid that it would never work out. But it doesn't matter I'm leaving, and I won't have to see him."

I hugged Gemma and she left shaking her head. I locked the door behind me ran to my bed and cried.