Red is the rose

Part 4

I woke up a couple of hours later to another knock at my door. This is one thing I'm not going to miss, the constant knocking at my door.

"Fuck off I'm trying to sleep." I yelled.

"Open the door Star." Jax replied.

"I said fuck off Jackson." I yelled pulling the pillow over my head.

"Don't make me use the keys. My mom gave them to me and told me to come talk to you."

"Fucking Gemma. Why can't she ever mind her own fucking business? Fuck off Jackson, I don't want to talk least of all to you." I said holding the pillow harder over my head.

He walked in and looked around. I had finished my packing, and everything was in boxes and bags ready to go. I was only taking a couple of bags they could put the rest in storage. They might need my room for guests or visiting members and I didn't want them going through my stuff.

"Where are you going?" Jax asked worried.

"Not that it's any of your concern, but I'm going away to school." I snapped back sitting up on my bed.

"Drop the attitude Star. You never talk to me like this." Jax replied with a hurt tone.

"Well, when someone you love rips your heart out and stomps it into the dirt you tend to change your tone. But it's whatever Jackson. It doesn't matter anymore."

"What do you mean it doesn't matter anymore?" Jax asked

"Why do you care I'm just a kid to you Jax. I spilled my heart out to you and all you had to say to me was I'm just a kid and it wouldn't work out. Well guess what JACKSON I'm not a kid I'm 21 fucking years old, and I'm legally an adult. You said it would never work out. Well, that's cause you're too scared to give us a shot. You're scared that we might work out and it scares you. This wasn't just a whim Jackson. I thought long and hard about you and if the feelings were love or infatuation. Didn't you ever wonder why I never went on dates or had a boyfriend? But you know what I'll be over a hundred miles away. So, you don't have to worry about me ruining your one-night stands with girls that every guy here has fucked. I'm done talking so either you get out of my room or I will." I said standing up.

Jax just stood there with a mix of emotions on his face. Well, I guess I'm the one leaving my own room. I pushed past him. He grabbed my arm and pulled me into a hug. I tried fighting him, but he just pulled me in tighter.

"Stop fighting me Star and hear me out." Jax demanded.

"The time for talking is done, Jax. The time for talking was when I told you how I felt this morning. I don't want to hear it." I said fighting to get away from him.

"Stella bear calm down."

"Never and I mean never ever fucking call me that. There has only been one person allowed to call me that and he's dead. You have no fucking right." I said still struggling to get out of his grasp.

"Stella Rose stop." I stopped dead in my tracks Jax never called me by my first and middle name ever unless he was mad at me. "Just listen ok. I'm not letting you go until you listen to me. I said that this morning because you can do better than me. You are meant for more than this life. You're 21 years old, I didn't want you to be stuck here in this life with me. I meant what I said when I said you haven't lived yet. I fucked up when I said you were just some kid. I love you Star. I do. I just think you can do better than me."

"Did it even occur to you that I want this life? That the reason I've never gone anywhere is because I feel safe here. This is my home Jackson, or it was till you ripped my heart out and now you want to tell me you love me. That's fucked up Jackson. You can't tell someone you love them unless you mean it."

"I do mean it Star. I don't use that word lightly and you know it. Please stop using my first name." Jax said looking down at me still standing they're in his arms.

I looked up at him and he kissed me. I fought the kiss at first but eventually gave in. This is what I wanted. The man I love is kissing me. Jax pulled us over to the bed and laid us down with him on top of me. We started taking our clothes off.

"I'll be gentle I promise. Are you ready?"

I just shook my head yes. He slowly entered me inch by inch. It hurt at first. He was so big I could feel him pulsating inside me. He gently pulled out almost all the way before he pushed back inside me. After he got a good rhythm going, he kissed me again before he grabbed my left breast taking my swollen nipple into his mouth. I moaned in ecstasy lifting my back off the bed. He smiled down at me.

"Whose pussy is this?" He asked slamming back into me.

"Yours. "I moaned.

Omg, that felt amazing. He gave my right nipple a soft bite before taking it into his mouth to tease it. I felt a deep pressure build up and came. He started kissing me again pumping faster and harder. This man is a god. I started moaning louder and louder.

"Not that I don't love the sounds of you moaning my name. You might want to grab a pillow or be a little quieter or everyone is going to hear you. And I don't want everyone to hear your moans their mine. I don't let anyone hear my girls' moans" He said slamming into me after he finished,

He turned me over and started riding me from behind, He got deeper and deeper it felt amazing. He slapped me across my ass, and I squeaked. He laughed and started going harder. The pressure started building up again. This time I came hard after a few more pumps Jax came. He collapsed on top of me before rolling off me and lying next to me.

"Jax, what happens now? What does this mean for us?"

"What happens is you unpack your bags in my room. Cause like I said when I was fucking your sweet pussy your my girl now."

"Jax I'm leaving for school. I'm not running away. I worked hard for this."

"Stella, how do you expect me to be okay with you being hundreds of miles away? I can't protect you."

"I haven't thought that far Jax this all happened so fast. Not an hour ago we were fighting now were together. Give me a second to process this."

"Don't worry about it. If you leave, we aren't together simple as that." Jax said as he got dressed and walked out the door.

I sat on my bed crying. I'm finally with Jax and I have to choose between him and my dreams. He's the one who told me I needed to get out and live my life. Now because he wants to be together. I have to choose. I sat on my bed thinking for what felt like hours. When I got up to get a Mt. Dew from the kitchen the clubhouse was empty everyone was gone or in bed. I went back to my room and grabbed my bags leaving my room.