Song By Unreality

Chapter 19

"Are your songs autobiographical?"

"Partly yes. I can't sing about what I haven't lived or don't feel. Even someone else's story I need to first pass through myself."

(from Rina's interview for the Paparazzi program)

"Did you understand what I said?!" Lebedev shrieked.

How had she never noticed the hysterical intonation in his voice before when he was angry! However, fascinated by Dimitri's courtship, Rina didn't notice a lot of things. For example, she didn't see that in moments of anger, not only his voice becomes ugly, but also his face. She didn't notice how his eyes were turning white with rage. And that he himself, who seemed strong to her, is in fact a nonentity, since he is able to beat the weak, defenseless and defeated.

Rina squeezed her eyes shut when Lebedev swung at her, but there was no blow. She opened her eyes fearfully and saw that he, trembling with rage, still lowered his hand. But, without physically hitting her, Lebedev whipped her with insults and threats, making a lot of fun and reminding her that she was nobody, a nobody from the alley. And as she made her way into show business, she will slide back into the ditch. Rina proudly raised her chin, and this again exasperated Lebedev.

"You... you!" he hissed in her face. "Whore!"

A runaway bride is not a waiter who made a mistake with the temperature of the wine, and not a secretary who served the wrong kind of coffee. This is not even a businessman who stole a lucrative contract from under his nose, because Dimitri is used to solving such problems. But this is how publicly and scandalously he was thrown for the first time, and he will not forgive such a shame.

While Lebedev was yelling, Rina was wondering with some detachment about the fate prepared for her. Dimitri acted simply with the guilty staff - he threw them out into the street. He also dealt with competitors quickly and, worst of all, with Rina's hands. And what will he do to her? Cripple? Will he make it look like the scandalized singer herself fell into the river from the bridge? Rina silently looked into the eyes of her ex-fiance, in which there was nothing but cold rage, and with a feeling that hurt like a healing scratch, she thought that she had once seen love in those eyes.

Is it love? Maybe just a temporary admiration? Complacency? For a while, Dimitri was really passionate about her. And she took his interest for true love. Growing up in an orphanage and used to fighting for a place in the sun, she really missed someone's care. Yes, Nuliya took care of her. But the elderly Korean had her own grandchildren. In addition, immediately after graduation, Rina left to conquer the capital, which shone like a Christmas tree toy.

At first, after each failure, Rina sent her benefactress postcards in which she cheerfully talked about fictional successes: she created the illusion of well-being not so much for Nuliya as for herself. And then she made friends. But they, though they loved Rina, lived their own lives. And in those rare moments when they all managed to meet, Rina dreamed of the same strong relationship as Vsevolod and Violet or Valery and Elvira. How she wished she had someone as real and reliable as her friends' husbands! Therefore, when Dimitri offered her everything that in her understanding was a manifestation of care, Rina easily fell in love with him. It's a pity, but she realized too late that it is necessary to judge a person not by the size of bouquets, but by the way he treats other people: before whom he fawns, and whom he wipes into dust. Dimitri reached out to the strong, but with pleasure beat the weak.

"And don't think that you will be able to escape!"

It wouldn't work - Rina understood that perfectly well. There were not even windows in her cell with a toilet behind a curtain, the door was propped up by guards similar to cabinets, and hungry angry dogs roamed the yard.