My newfound home (discontinued)

I'm so stupid

!!TW!! - mentions of ed, suicide, sh, anxiety, pills

RILEY'S POV

I slowly open my eyes and lift my head off of my pillow. I wasn't sure how long I had slept for but I definitely needed that nap. I get out of bed fixing my bed hair before leaving me and Leah's room walking down the stairs. I never ended up actually getting a tour from Leah so I was a bit unsure of where I was going.

I found myself sitting in a small relaxation room which consisted of a few couches and a TV. I looked over to a clock hanging on the wall reading that it was 4:30 pm and dinner was at 6 so I had a bit of time to myself.

I zoned out and got lost in my thoughts until I felt someone sit down next to me which snapped me out of my thoughts. I looked around to see that the girls from my table had come back from their walk. Esme had sat down next to me.

"How was your nap?" Ella asked.

"It was pretty good," I replied, picking at the hem of my shirt. I wasn't sure why I normally only do that when I'm anxious or nervous but why was I getting anxious all of a sudden.

We sat around talking and joking around for a bit. Ella was definitely the funniest out of all of them. We were going around telling funny stories about each other and some of them were quite funny.

"You need to bring your meds to dinner" Esme whispered into my ear. I didn't want to take my meds, I was fine without them... I think.

"No" I mumble back. I hated taking them and I especially didn't want to take them in a room filled with my whole team. They didn't need to know about all of my stupid problems.

"Yes Riley, you need to take them" Esme insisted that I take them.

"I said no!" I raise my voice. This caused all of the girls to go quiet and stare at me and Esme.

"Riley, don't raise your voice. I know that you haven't been taking them, it's obvious" Esme replied keeping a calm state.

"Taking what?" Lucy asked confused as to what Esme means.

"Nothing"

"Her meds"

Me and Esme say at the same time. I couldn't believe that she had just told them that. She knew that I didn't want anyone knowing.

"Why would you tell them!" I'm now almost yelling at Esme. I'm beyond pissed at her.

"Riley they won't care and you need to start taking them. You didn't take them this morning or last night." Esme says.

"I don't need to take them, I'm fine without them, '' I replied. Why can't she understand that?

"Yes you do Riley. Have you noticed how you've been acting? Your attitude has been bad and that's because you haven't taken your anger management pills. You've been way more anxious than usual and you had a panic attack earlier today. That's because you haven't taken your anxiety medication and that's only 2 of them." Esme says, staring at me. Leah told her that I had a panic attack!?

"Why did you tell her I had a panic attack, that's none of your business!" I yell at Leah. I felt bad for yelling at them but I was so mad I couldn't help it.

"Riley stop yelling, Leah told me because she was worried about you and wanted to know if I knew anything about it" Esme replied before Leah could. How was she so calm about this?

"I'm not fucking taking them, I don't need them" I state bluntly. I couldn't believe she was saying this in front of the girls.

"Please Riles" Esme pleads.