Retreat (ddlb)

1

*sigh* I turned over yet again, still unable to fall asleep. I was too anxious about tomorrow to sleep. This was going to be the last night in my own room for a long time and I didn't even have a say in it. I'm 17, which means I legally can't do anything if my parents want to send me to a rehab facility against my will. It's not a normal rehab place, I don't do drugs or anything but my therapist said that it's a "sanctuary of self-renewal" or whatever that means. basically it's a place for a bunch of mentally screwed teenagers to go and cry in group therapy and take nature walks to "mentally renew" themselves. 

I'm not totally pissed about this arrangement, seeing as though I don't really have anything else to do, and it's probably better than being home where everyone stares at you as if you're going to jump off of a cliff or something. Which isn't that unreasonable, considering I did try to kill myself last month. 

So, I guess I don't blame my parents for sending me there. Honestly, I did some research and a lot of kids actually said that they liked it and it helped them. I'm not relying on it to like save me or anything, but maybe I'll finally get better. I don't really know what's wrong with me, I've kind of just always felt a little bad and getting older just makes it a little worse. 

As I think more and more about tomorrow, I finally start feeling tired enough to drift off to sleep. 

Next day- Saturday 

"Hey, hon, time to wake up." I am shaken awake by my mother, who gently shook my shoulder and smiled when she saw me open my eyes. I like my mother. She's kind and wonderful and lets me stay home from school whenever I ask. She's one of the reasons I actually agreed to go to this stupid facility. 

"okay, Ma, I'm up" I groaned and rubbed my eyes as she opened my curtains. 

"Okay, try to get ready soon we leave in an hour, ok? Oh and we have frozen waffles if you're hungry. " She is very nurturing when talking to me, like I'm a bird she's going to scare off. I smile back and say okay and she leaves and closes the door as I get up to get ready. 

I stood up and ran a hand over my bleached blond hair, which was sticking up in all directions. I buzzed it all off a few months ago, but now it was wavy and unruly with my dark brown hair showing at the roots. I liked having blond hair, but I realized with a frown that I probably wouldn't be able to touch it up while I'm gone. Suddenly, I remember that some places don't let you have piercings as I stared at my septum ring and my bridge piercing and my vertical labret on my lip. Remember why we're doing this. I continuously had to remind myself throughout the morning, trying to keep up the motivation to do this for my parents. I blinked my eyes really hard to wake myself up and then got dressed for the day, changing into baggy, ripped dark-wash jeans and a white hoodie with a band logo on it, as well as my white adidas sneakers and green socks. 

1 hour later

"Okay, come here bud." My dad opens his arms and I smile and accept his embrace. I love my dad too. He's really great and isn't one of those dads that made me do sports or get good grades. He and my mom didn't care when I came out or whenever I come home with a new tattoo. They're really great and make me feel guilty whenever they look at me, so I said ok when they told me where I was going. 

"Now, remember to call at least once a week. Oh, and if any of those kids are giving you trouble make sure to tell the adults, and if they don't handle it you call me. And don't forget-" I grin and cut him off before he starts freaking out even more. "Dad! It's gonna be fine, I'm gonna be great." I smiled to make him believe me and he smiled back. "Okay, Okay, let's go, smart-ass." he playfully punched my shoulder and I pushed him back, finally going through the front door with all of my bags where my mom was waiting by the car for us.