Retreat (ddlb)

9

Jasper's POV: 

I feel really nervous for some reason, like I knew this talk was coming and I kind of knew that it needed to happen. I don't know what I feel about Ezra, but I know that it feels weird. I feel so close to him even though we've only just met and it's like I've never felt this kind of relationship with anyone, almost like a form of protection? It feels like he's always trying to focus on me and that's new for me, and I think I like it. 

I can tell that he's nervous too when he doesn't say anything, so instead I decide to break the ice. "Is this about what you said in the cafeteria?" I looked away from him and waited for him to answer, picking at my fingers. I heard him sigh as he leaned back against the bench before he spoke. "Yeah. I guess so. I just really feel like we should talk or something." He chuckled a little bit before continuing. "We can't keep making out in the bathroom every time you get food on yourself." I turned pink and turned to look at him and sure enough there was a prominent smirk on his face. "Why not?" I asked him, wondering if maybe he wasn't the kind of guy who kisses strangers in bathrooms. "Well because then we would just be sucking face every hour of the day." I turned pinker as he gave me a playful grin as I crossed my arms. "Ha. Ha." I retorted. 

"No but seriously. I like you." I watched him actually blush before continuing. "And I don't know if you like me too. But I think you do." There was a long moment of silence before I realized he probably wanted some kind of answer. "Uh. Okay." He stared at me with a raised eyebrow. "What do you mean okay? That's not very specific." I nodded and looked down at my feet. "I think I do too." My voice came out at a whisper, which was embarrassing because I knew I would probably have to repeat it. I was surprised when suddenly I felt his hands on my face but this time I wasn't worried and I let him gently move my head to face him as he continued to comfortably hold my face in between his hands. "Speak up." His tone was very straight forward, yet still comfortable and I felt a small tingling in my stomach as I continued to look at him. 

"I do too." My face burned with embarrassment after saying these words and I realized I had never been forced to say them out loud to anyone before. I felt less embarrassed as he smiled really kindly and let my face go. "Good boy."  I felt my face turn a dark shade of red as I heard him mutter these words. "What?" I waited for him to repeat them, a small part of me wishing he would. "Nothing. I have more to ask." I tried not to feel disappointed as I nodded and waited for him to talk. "Do you want to have a partner while you're here?" I paused and looked at the trees as I thought back to the conversation between me and Darien in the tunnel. "Well I sort of have a deal. So yeah. I'm guessing you do?" He didn't hesitate in his answer. "Yeah." I nodded and thought of another question. "Did you come here for the program to be a Dom?" He did hesitate this time so I looked at him. "...yeah. I had a therapist and he said I had a tendency to look after others. So he introduced me to the dynamic and then referred me here after a while. It helps me I think." I sat with this for a moment and couldn't help but be curious as to what he needed to help. I decided that was a question for another day. 

"So that leads me to the question of..." he paused for a long time, as if he was deciding to continue. "...of?" I prodded him, knowing what he was going to ask. "Do you want to be my partner?" He stared hopefully at my eyes and I stared back. This felt like a moment I didn't realize I was waiting to happen. I continued to stare at him to decide how to answer. "I want to try." He smiled and nodded. "I'm new. I don't know what to do." I gave him a half smile, hoping to say I was willing. "I'm kind of new too." I nodded with this information, not really able to look away from him. "So what are we going to do? How will it work if we both are... inexperienced?" He shrugged, as if it was obvious. "That's what the classes are for." My eyes widened. "The what." He laughed a little before filling me in. "There are classes we have to take so that they can teach us how to do our roles. We get different ones if we are partnered." I let this sink in, realizing I was still very lost on the details of this place. "Oh. Well that's good then I guess." He nodded and we both leaned on the bench more. 

"We can go slow. I've gathered that you don't know shit about being a little." He gave me a smile and I smiled back and nodded. I feel really happy for some reason. "Yeah. Please." He nodded. "Do you want to go and talk to a leader to get us partnered?" I thought for a moment before deciding this was enough for one night. "Uhm. Tomorrow. This is a lot for now. Okay?" He nodded giddily. "That sounds good. Thanks for talking. Do you want to head back now?" I decided I wanted to go and fill Darien in and nodded. "Yeah. I saw a foosball table in there." He grinned and stood up and waited for me to follow, which I did. We didn't hold hands or anything but there was a new air around us that felt really okay as we walked back.