ISLAMIC WAYS

Guidance of the Prophet(ﷺ) with regard to marriage

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("In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful")

The guidance of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him) with regard to marriage was that he encouraged making it easy, announcing it and proclaiming it openly, and expressing joy and happiness on this occasion; making a wedding feast (waleemah) and inviting people to it; enjoining those who are invited to attend, and even if a person is fasting he should attend and offer du’aa’ for the host of the feast, but he does not have to eat. 

Then he enjoined treating the wife with kindness and trying one's best to achieve that. 

This is in general terms. There follows a detailed discussion: 

Firstly: Affordable dowry (mahr) 

Al-Bayhaqi (14721) narrated that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him) said: “The best of dowries is that which is most affordable.” It was narrated by Abu Dawood (2117) with the wording: “The best of marriages is that which is most affordable.” This was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani. 

It says in ‘Awn al-Ma’bood: 

i.e., the easiest for the man by making the dowry and so on easy. Al-‘Allaamah al-Shaykh al-‘Azeezi said: i.e., the lowest dowry or the easiest in accepting the proposal. 

Ahmad (23957) and Ibn Maajah (4095) narrated from ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) that the Messenger of Allaah (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him) said: “One of the signs of a woman being blessed is that the process of proposing to her is made easy and the dowry is made affordable and she bears children easily.” Classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’ (2235). 

Al-Tirmidhi (1114) narrated that ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: Do not go to extremes with regard to women's dowries. If that were something honourable in this world or a sign of piety before Allaah, then the Prophet of Allaah (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him) would have been the most entitled to it, but I never heard that the Messenger of Allaah (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him) offered as a dowry for any of his wives or accepted as a dowry for any of his daughters anything more than twelve uqiyah. Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi. 

An uqiyah is 40 dirhams; the weight of a dirham in grams is 2.975 g. 

Secondly: Announcing the marriage 

Al-Tirmidhi (1089) narrated from ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) that she said: The Messenger of Allaah (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him) said: “Announce this marriage.” Classed as hasan by al-Albaani in al-Irwa’ (7/50). 

Al-Nasaa’i (3369) narrated that Muhammad ibn Haatib (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him) said: “What separates halaal from haraam is the daff and singing at the wedding.” Classed as hasan by al-Albaani. 

Beating the daff at weddings is limited to women only. 

Al-Haafiz said in al-Fath: In the strong hadeeths there is permission for that for women; it is not appropriate for men, because of the general prohibition on men resembling women. End quote. 

Thirdly The wedding feast (waleemah) 

This is a confirmed Sunnah at weddings and it is part of announcing the marriage and of expressing joy and happiness on this occasion.