The Crash of Worlds - The Last Of Us

Part VIII - Starry, Starry, Night

Joel had led James to a patch of knee high grass that laid open to the sky. The two laid in the grass, looking up at the sky. There weren't any stars but it was still beautiful, like a scene right out of a movie.
"Can we talk?" Joel asked, James felt tense up.
"Yeah?" He replied, Joel sighed.
"Why have you stayed with us?"

James wasn't actually sure, he didn't need to but on some level he cared about Joel and Ellie. And even though he's not ready to confront it yet he is in love with this man.
"I care about you and the kid." James smiled, tilting his head back to see Joel. He couldn't.
"You ever been married?" Joel asked,
"I uh... No, I haven't." James mumbled.
"Why not?"
"I couldn't get married." As James said that he felt his lungs constrict, like the saliva in his mouth had been drained.
"Huh?" Joel mumbled,
"I'm gay Joel," Joel froze and James began to panic, "That doesn't mean I'm gonna jump at your or something." The backpedaling was unnecessary as Joel didn't mind.

"That had to be tough." The older man sighed,
"Didn't even get a chance to tell my parents before they died." James replied, resting his hands on his chest. Joel felt kind of stupid asking these questions like some school girl but he still did,
"Have you ever been with anyone?" He cringed physically at the question, James smiled.
"Not really. I spent a lot of time alone, in fact I can count all the people I've met on my own on my hands."

There had been eight people he's met since the outbreak, he's seen more but he's only talked to the few. Most of them were also fellow travelers in the apocalypse. Some he had to kill. He once went three years without talking to anyone.

"Wow."
"Yeah the chances of finding someone are low, and finding a guy is even lower, and a gay guy is near impossible." He hadn't met any sort of gay person since the outbreak. And the last man he ever had anything with was Mark.
"Did you date?" Joel asked,
"I had a burning crush on my fiend Mark all through grade school. We actually kissed a bit. He was my first kiss. But he uh..." James sniffled, he could barely speak of what had happened. Even in all these years the wound still felt fresh.
"Sorry." Joel interjected, he could tell just by the sound of James what had happened.

"Thanks. You ever been married?" James asked, changing the subject deliberately.
"No. I had a kid though." Joel sighed.
"Really, what's their name?" James asked all giddy, he always liked to hear about families. The one he'd lost so long ago.
"Her name was Sarah." Joel mumbled.
"Oh, I'm sorry." James felt his heart sink at the past-tense in that sentence.
"It's alright. Had her when I was too young and her mom left us. Raised her myself. Loved that kid more than anything."

Sarah's mom Annie left after she found a certain magazine in Joel's office. Like most young men he had porno magazines, that wasn't what bothered her. What bothered her was the contents of the magazine.

The cover page featured not a woman but a man. Some blond boy with everything on display, the mag was titled "Manshots" it had several little lewd blurbs. Such as "All color! All hard!" And "Twinks go wild!"

She was raised rather religiously so finding her husband with gay porn was enough for her to loose it. She screamed at him as Joel froze in shock as the magazine was thrown at him. Without much argument she got up in left. But not before calling Joel a very specific slur, he didn't even know what to say to Sarah.

Annie told everyone that Joel was a "fudge packer" or a "faggot" or any other offensive title she could think of. It was 1998, people didn't like gay folks. Joel's family cut him off entirely when they heard, as they thought that being gay meant that Joel was a pedophile.

They tried to take Sarah from him but Annie's manic presence in the court room and Sarah's fear of her completely shut her out. By 1999 he was entirely alone, no family besides Tommy and his little girl. Tommy and him were close enough that he knew Joel would never touch no kid.