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celebrations weren't something viviana was really fond off. she didn't even celebrate her birthday, not since she turned thirteen anyway.
but there were two celebrations she could never miss. forth of july and christmas. she liked to spend them peacefully, doing something she liked and to not waste them in her room.
so she always spent the forth with justin in cousins, while christmas was spent in boston with her aunt and cousin.
she believed by celebrating lunaʼs favorite holidays, she could make her guilt decrease. maybe at some point stop blaming herself for it.
but she knew she could never stop blaming herself for such a cruel thing she did. she couldn't even decrease the guilt because everyone that knew what really happened that night blamed her.
everyone except her brother.
viviana wondered if she ever crossed his mind anymore. if he ever thought of her like she did. did he miss her? she didn't know but one thing that she knew was that he seemed happy. happier than last time she saw him anyway. she wasn't going to assume he was happy just because she saw him smiling once.
she was also scared, scared that if she really crossed his mind and he thought of her as much as she did of him, then maybe he would start realizing she was the cause of their light to die.
luna was their light. not just their light but their parents too.
and viviana killed it.
so she never told anyone what really happened to her sister. not even conrad.
in her mind, she was holding back the truth for him, she wasn't lying. with good cause though. she knew if he found out he would hate her. and little viviana couldn't lose connie. it would break her, their friendship meant too much to her.
but that fell through too. Just like her plans of traveling with luna. being her maid of honor, luna teaching her how to drive, the promises they made when viviana was still young about how she was going to become a famous painter, then she would paint luna.
because in her younger self's words, luna was the prettiest thing she ever saw. which meant alot to luna, not that she ever got to admit it to the girl.
because viviana loved the sky, no she was obsessed with it and the beach. the sky more.
and viviana quit painting. so as she was standing with susannah in her kitchen while they laughed together as they started putting the food in plates to take them outside later on she froze upon hearing susannahʼs words
"so tell me" susannah smiled at the girl "what did my little artist draw last?"
viviana froze for a few seconds but smiled later on "the sky" viviana said it, in a tone that made susannah laugh
