What The Heart Wants (Sebastian Vettel)

5. Cold Feet?

Switzerland, August 2017

Seb felt sick.   He kept telling himself over and over again that it was just nerves, that it wasn't because he knew deep down he was making a big mistake. 

"Sebastian?" He looked up into his father's eyes, realising from his tone and expression that he'd tried talking to him several times. 

"Yes?" he asked wearily. 

"Is everything ok?"

Seb stood up and walked over to the drinks cabinet in the corner of his lounge.  He opened it and took out a bottle of whiskey and a glass.

He returned to the sofa and sat down. He put the glass on the coffee table and then unscrewed the lid of the bottle. He poured himself a generous measure of the whiskey.

"Am I making a mistake?" he asked.

Norbert Vettel sighed loudly. He had his own opinion on the upcoming wedding, but it wasn't his place to say. The decision was Seb's to make, and Seb's alone.

"Son, do you love her?"

"I do, I just don't know if I love her enough. With Mum you knew instantly. It was the same for Opa with Oma."

"You never did believe in love at first sight.  Are you saying you do now?"

"I don't know, I mean it's dumb isn't it? How can anyone love someone without knowing them?"

"It happened to you as well didn't it?"  Norbert knew. He could see it written all over his son's face.  Seb had fallen for someone that wasn't Ava, yet he was about to pledge himself to her. 

"It did, a long time ago now.   I thought I'd get over her, but I never did.  And it's pointless to waste my life pining for what I can't have.  She loves someone else.  She's married to someone else."

Norbert didn't know what to say. What could he say? It was the night before his son's wedding, and Seb was confessing he was in love with another woman.

Norbert had a pretty good idea who the other woman was. He'd seen the way Seb had looked at Jessie over the years. He'd long suspected there his son had a thing for the English woman.

"I do love Ava Father. I just don't know if I'll ever love her the way she deserves to be loved."

Norbert didn't know if Seb was trying to convince him or himself of that

"You don't have to got through with the wedding Sebastian. It's not too late to call it off. I know you don't want to hurt Ava, but in the long run you will hurt her more."

"It is too late father. How can I humiliate her in front of everyone? Her family have travelled here from Germany. Her cousin is here from Denmark. Joel and Jessie have flown here from the States."

Jessie, he couldn't get her out of  his head, or out of his heart.   Seeing her again back in January had proved he'd never been over her.  If she'd been single he'd have thrown caution to the wind and told her how he felt, but she wasn't.  She was his best friend's wife!    He took a swig of the whiskey. 

He should be thinking of his bride, not of Jessie. He was betraying Ava emotionally, just as he had been for the whole of their relationship.

"Sebastian, all I want is for you to be happy.   I'm worried that years down the line you will be miserable."

"I do love Ava.   She does make me happy. She may not be the one, but we are happy.  I'm just nervous, that's all."

"It's ok to get cold feet."