---
the woman was sitting in front of heeseung, at a good distance from him. she was fidgeting her pen, gazing at heeseung as if trying to solve a riddle.
"can i ask a more sensitive question?"
heeseung slowly moved his eyes from the floor towards her.
"i'll see if i can answer it."
she shifted in her seat. an uncomfortable silence was starting to fall between them.
"do you sometimes feel like disappearing as well,... like they did?"
heeseung shook his head before looking away.
" 'feel'? that's a strong word. i don't think i can do that anymore."
---
heeseung's eyes fluttered open as soon as some sun rays gently made their way towards his room early in the morning. he still wanted to enjoy some extra five minutes of sleep, but his efforts were in vain. he couldn't fall back because of the heavy silence that crept around him.
heeseung hates silence.
he laid there for several minutes, staring at his white ceiling, before getting up and dragging his feet towards his kitchen. he tradged down the stairs, being surrounded by an unhealthy amount of empty space.
he was all alone in once, a house that was always surrounded by people, by people he loved.
he made a simple breakfast of scrambled eggs with cheese, ham, toast with butter, and then, he sat down, eating it. it didn't take him long to finish it before going upstairs to continue with his morning routine.
heeseung went to his closet and chose a casual attire and quickly put it on. he slipped into some black dress trousers and a slightly tight white shirt, adding a plain black tie to put together his outfit. he looked at his jacket, but after contemplating, he decided to leave it home.
it was a hot summer day after all.
when he checked the time, he realised that he could be late so he left the house in a rush.
he waited for a taxi for what seemed like an eternity.
heeseung anxiously glanced at his watch a couple of times before deciding to reach for his phone and dial a number.
"please tell me you're still home."
he heard some door close on the other side of the line.
"i'm actually leaving right now." niki's voice rang in heeseung's ears.
"amazing, can you pick me up?" heeseung asked, without expecting any rejection.
"say pleaseee..." the younger teased, at which heeseung rolled his eyes.
"i'll make you write three reports."
"i'll be there in five."
as niki mentioned, he quickly arrived at heeseung's house. the latter got in his car and fastened his seatbelt.
"did you not hear your alarm or what?"
heeseung sighed and leaned on his chair.
"what would i do without you?" he glanced at niki, who was focusing on the road.
"perish."
"that's for sure."
for some time neither of them said anything. niki started shuffling between some radio stations, before stopping at one that caught his attention.
"i love this song!" he exclaimed as the familiar melody surrounded them. they started humming together to the music, bopping their heads to the beat.
shortly after, the melody faded, being replaced by a male voice.
"i have always wondered what it would be like to be reborn. to shed my old skin and emerge as a new creature, with a different shape, color, and function. to fly away from my past and explore new horizons, without any baggage or regrets. to be free from the constraints of my current reality, and discover new possibilities and potentials.
perhaps this is why i am drawn to butterflies. they are the epitome of rebirth, the ultimate expression of transformation-"
"boooriiinggg," niki said after switching it off.
heeseung looked at niki with a raised eyebrow. "you don't like philosophy?"
niki rolled his eyes, "it makes me confused and depressed."
heeseung chuckled. "that's true too. but i think it's good to question things sometimes, don't you?"
niki sighed. "not when i'm trying to enjoy a nice song."
"fair."
niki shifted his gaze towards heeseung for a second. "did you check the profile of the new head office manager?"
heeseung looked straight at the road. "don't care. i thought you were going to fill me in with all these details."
"i also didn't check," the younger replied shortly.
"it's gonna be a surprise for both of us."
niki took a deep breath in. "if you ask me, you are the worthiest of being in that position. you put the most effort in the previous magazines... and i really want to listen to some nice music today," he said before turning the radio back on.
"... today the whole country is grieving over the tragic accident that happened exactly six years ago in-"
niki quickly pressed the button so the man's voice on the radio disappeared. "nevermind. we can go without music."
he didn't hear anything from heeseung, so they both kept quiet for the rest of the ride.
---
the woman was tapping her fingers on her thigh.
"what if you could see him again? what would you tell him?"
"i can't imagine something that i know won't happen." heeseung answered.
she frowned at that answer, before tilting her head. "you have to give me a proper answer if you want me to help you."
heeseung crossed his arms.
"i'd tell him that i hate him."
---
