Summer Camp

o n e

P A R T   O N E

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Chapter One

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"Sometimes change can be just as bad as it can be good."

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I always thought of myself, to a certain degree at least, as independent.

Yes, what had happened to me was traumatic and terrible, scarring forever, but I knew I was no weak girl. I was not going to get depressed - or at least I was going to try not to - and I was going to try to move on somehow. It was just going to take time - a lot of time. So yes, when my mother asked me - well, more like insisted - she drive me to school, I declined. I mean, I was seventeen, not a five year old girl. I loved my mother to death, but I was not the fragile little girl she saw me as. Not anymore. I mean, was it sweet? Yes. Did I appreciate the effort she was making? Of course. Was it embarrassing? Definitely.

"Shey, are you sure? I want to. It'd be no problem, really!"

I smiled at her in a playful manner, "I'll be fine mom, really!"

She sighed and shook her head. She still didn't look convinced, a frown decorating her face, concern lacing into her eyes and she softly laid a hand on my arm and squeezed. Her features were tired and her eyes seemed so... empty. The spark that used to live in them gone, and I immediatly felt my heart squeeze in sorrow. I was being so selfish lately. Only thinking about how it would be for me, not for her, how me acting so angry and difficult about the move might have affected her.

"Let me drive you," she began again, "What if you get lost? I mean, how are you gonna find your way then? You are new to this neighborhood after all and you don't want to be late on your first day to a new school. That certainly won't make a good impression and who knows how that'll affect the rest of your year," she rambled on and I couldn't help but smile at her caring and maternal nature.

I knew she'd be hurt if I didn't let her do something for me. Even when she had her own problems, when the world seemed to crash down upon her, she still took the burden of taking care of me. Sometimes I had the feeling, that she felt as if she wasn't really needed, even though she was the only real family I had left right now. Truth was, she was one of the main reasons I kept going. She was my hero.

"Alright," I assured her and gave in, shooting her a smile. Her green eyes lit up and she nodded, tying her blonde hair into a bun and moving around, trying to find the car key. I inwardly sighed. I couldn't bear to see her so unhappy, so sad and unlike her usual self. I missed the mom that made fun of my hair, that pointed out if I was wearing two different pairs of socks - which happened more often than you'd think - and the one that would tease me whenever I watched cartoons.

"But, you have to drop me off nowhere near eye sight," I warned playfully. She laughed and nodded and my heart warmed.

As we arrived a few blocks away, she gave me a kiss on the cheek and brushed my blonde hair behind my ears with her fingers. She asked me if she was sure I didn't want her to drive me directly in front of the school, but after some not so very quiet protests she let me go. I watched the car drive away and waved, until she was around the corner.

I sighed in anxiety and unlocked my phone as I made my way to school, ignoring the uneasy feeling building in the pit of my stomach. It was in my nature to ignore things and hide from them as long as I could, until I actually had to face them.

Now why does this apply to another predicament I'm in?

Ugh shut the fuck up brain.