The Dis-Ease Files (OT7 x Reader Drabble Series)

THROWING IT ALL AWAY (JHS X F!READER)

"____?" Hoseok gives a gentle knock on your bedroom door, letting himself in. Stretching, he takes in the mess of boxes and bins that surround the large bed at the center of the room, you perched on top, giving him a little wave.

Five months in and nothing had been unpacked. For most normal people who took a glance at the two of you, they'd assume it was up to a couple of things: Hoseok's busy schedule as the chief of cardiothoracic surgery, your own heavy patient load working as an OT in the pediatrics department, or the fact that the two of you were the proud parents of Eunjoo, a curious, wonderful 2-year-old and your very own little flower.

Most of them would be wrong. Five months ago, the home of your dreams had turned into a nightmare the moment you'd gotten into a huge accident on your way to pick up Eunjoo from daycare. Crushed under the weight of your car, you'd fractured your femur, unresponsive as the paramedics pulled you out from underneath and wheeled you into the ambulance.

Hoseok had been frantic, the OR being interrupted with calls from the daycare asking where Eunjoo's parents were. Hands shaking, he glanced over to his chief resident, Youngjae, and asked him to close up while he took a moment to breathe. Crumpling to the floor outside the OR, he pulled off his gloves and grabbed his cellphone from the pocket of his scrubs.

The dial tone rang one, two, four, five, eight times before your bubbly voice greeted him from the speakers, apologizing for being so busy and asking him to call again later. Launching himself to his feet, he sprinted to the Peds department, cellphone against his ear as he assured Eunjoo's teachers that he was on his way.

Stopping in front of the brightly colored door to the OT clinic, he asked the receptionists if he'd seen you, and why you hadn't been picking up. In less than five seconds, tears started streaming down their faces as they blubbered out words like "accident", "fracture", "major surgery".

Hoseok freezes, his mind going numb. The buzzing from his phone knocks him out of it, looking down to see a text from Jungkook, the head of orthopedic surgery.

"___ got into a major accident on her way to the daycare. Operating on her now, but she doesn't look good, Hoseok. Go, Eunjoo needs you."

...

Waking up, all you could feel was burning, as if your whole body was set alight. Blinking your eyes, it took you more than a few minutes to realize you were in a hospital room, IV drip running through your arm. Panicking, you traced the pain down to your legs, wiggling your toes and sobbing when you felt nothing below.

Looking up through your tears, you see Hoseok at the foot of the bed, clutching a snoring Eunjoo to his chest. Her small, chubby cheeks glistened with tear tracks as she sighed in her sleep.

Your mouth opens, but no words come out. Your throat feels like it's burning, and the tears become heavier as they drip down your face. Feeling the bed dip next to you, Hoseok lies down against your side, Eunjoo propped up in between the two of you, as he reaches out to wipe the tears off your face.

"____," he chokes out, and you know he's fighting back tears of his own. "You were in an accident. A big one. You fractured your femur. Thank god they were able to operate in time, otherwise who knows what could've happened..."

His words only make you cry harder, your wails echoing throughout the room. You don't know how many days you spend curled up at his side in the hospital room, flitting in and out of consciousness as the world comes crumbling down around you.

...

The first month had been the hardest. Bedridden, you could feel your muscles wasting away as people flitted in and around you at all times. Hoseok, your parents, your in-laws, Yoongi and his wife. Looking out the window listlessly, you'd ignore their fretting, watching the cars pass by and the people on the sidewalk. The woman out for a jog, or the man walking his dog. The couple pushing a stroller down the street, their laughs and giggles echoing in the distance.

The only thing that brought you back was the pitter-patter of tiny feet as Eunjoo crawled into bed between you and Hoseok every night, begging for a bedtime story. Hoseok's funny voices and impressions made her bright little laugh echo through the empty house. You never said anything, just smiled as you listened to them both. Eunjoo would always give you a kiss as her eyes drooped and she began to yawn, proudly declaring she'd wish for mommy to get better in her dreams that night.

Once you were stable, the therapy started. After working in the field of therapy and rehabilitation for so many years, you knew how serious femoral fractures were. Despite helping so many people regain their sense of self, it was strange for you to be in the same position. You did everything they asked of you: all your follow-ups with Jungkook went well, you used the walker Hoseok had bought for you, and you did the exercises and practiced the stretches. But why then, were you left feeling so empty?

...

Hoseok sighs as he sees you sitting on the bed. He knew Eunjoo was waiting for her daily bedtime story. Amidst the black hole of the past three months, he'd found a spare afternoon to do some painting and set up her room. He knew that after what had happened, his daughter needed some sense of normalcy, some reassurance that things would eventually be okay. You all did.

"Hoseok?" your voice snaps him out of his thoughts. "I... had a bad day today. I was home alone, and i-it was fine, everything was fine. I re-heated lunch, and even managed to pick up a few things that were laying around and put them away. But then, Eunjoo came up to me, a-and she tugged on my shirt and she asked me to play with her. And my heart broke because it's been so long and she's growing up so fast and she needs her mom to be able to play with her and take care of her and I just can't do it!"

"Am I a bad mom?" you continue on voice breaking. "For the past few months, I've just... I've been struggling so hard to be me again, to live the life we had before this all happened. To enjoy my time in our house, with our daughter. But it isn't working. Who I was before, it doesn't fit anymore, it feels wrong. And sometimes, I just want to throw it all away. To start over, to stop thinking about then, and focus on what I need now. And I realized, I don't need much to be happy. I don't even need to use my legs. But I do need you, and I need Eunjoo, and I need to be able to be part of our family again."

Feeling the bed dip next to you, Hoseok lies down, and your memory flashes back to that first night in the hospital. He'd stayed with you then, and he'd never left your side since. He reaches up to brush the strands of hair out of your face, and presses a kiss to your temple.

"I'll be right back," he whispers.

Watching him leave the room, your heart begins to race? Was this it? Had he finally grown tired of you? Was he taking Eunjoo?

Suddenly, you hear giggles down the hallway as Hoseok comes back, one hand holding Eunjoo's and the other holding your favorite pair of roller skates.

"Mommy!" Eunjoo shrieks. "Time to go play!"

Raising a confused eyebrow at Hoseok, you watch as he bends down and grabs your feet, slipping them into the skates and lacing them up for you.

"Remember school, ____?" he mumbles softly. "They taught us about the appendix, and how it went from being something useful to something that was no longer needed. The story of our evolution is defined just as much by what we leave behind as it is by what we gain. The things that no longer serve us anymore, we learn to let go, and we adapt. In our own way, and somehow, we come out stronger than before. Letting go feels so good because when we see how little we need to make us survive, it makes us realize how powerful we actually are. To strip down to only what we really need. To hang on to only what we can't do without, what we need. Not just to survive but to thrive."

He pulls you to your feet and slips an arm around your waist as he and Eunjoo walk you out the door into the driveway. With wobbly feet, you take your first few steps out onto the pavement, testing out the skates tentatively as you attempt to glide. Eunjoo chases after you, her squeals echoing in the cold night air.

Suddenly, you feel yourself slipping, losing control as you jerk and slide. Bracing yourself for the crash, you shield yourself, waiting for the impact to hit you. But it never does. Hoseok's arms slip themselves around your waist as he holds onto you, and the two of you skate together.

"I've got you."