Never Be The Same - A Charlie and Nick Story

Chapter 5 - Rugby Oppener

Nick's POV

"Nicholas, are you listening?"

I blink and rub my eyes. I look at Imogen and shake my head. "Sorry, I just have some things on my mind." I casually say as I swipe through my Instagram feed. We are sitting in my room, she's working on a dress drawing for her one form. She's dual majoring in fashion design and business.

"The first rugby match?" She asks, raising her eyebrows. I nod. My phone vibrates, Charlie's Instagram notification popping up. Yeah and some other stuff." I say softly.

"You are going to do great Nick. You always do. You've been practicing really hard these past two weeks and so has the team. We have watched you all at practice and you all are ready!" She stands up from my desk and walks over to me on my bed. She leans down and gives me a tight hug. I wrap my arms around the middle of her back. "Thanks Imogen." I say before letting go.

She crawls over my legs and sits down next to me. "What else is it?" She asks. I sigh and cross my arms tightly to my body. "I just feel like I don't know what I want to do with my life, Imogen."

I close my eyes and use my index finger to trace shapes on my upper arm. One of my nervous habits.

"I don't have a major. I don't know what makes me happy, career wise. I love rugby. I can't make a living out of being a coach. I don't want to own a team so I don't want to do business. I just don't know and I feel lost. I feel ..." I close my eyes and take a deep breath before adding "-like I feel like I don't know who I am anymore. I just have these feelings inside me and I don't know what to do about it."

I look over at Imogen, her eyes are wide. She has a soft smile. "I am sorry. I know that doesn't make much sense. You know without the extra context. I just don't feel like me. The old Nick from last year." She grabs my hand and rubs her thumb over my knuckles.

"Nicholas. I might not understand what you're feeling because I am not going through what you are feeling." She nudges her shoulder against mine, trying to lighten the mood. "But I am here for you. To listen. To give advice when and IF you want it. You're probably my best friend, Nick. You are always in my corner and I want you to know I am in your's as well."

I wipe a small tear that falls down my cheek. I wrap my arms around her shoulders, pulling her into one of our tightest hugs. We sit there for a few moments, while she rubs her hand up and down my back. Our embrace is broken up by her phone vibrating. "It's Sahar. We are going for a late lunch before your match tonight. She just finished her band practice. Would you like to come?"

I chuckle. "No, I am not going to be a third wheel on your lunch date with you and your girlfriend, Imogen. But thank you." She climbs over my legs again. She throws her sketch pad in her bag quickly and slings it over her shoulders. She walks back to my bed and roughs my hair up. We laugh together before she waves goodbye and walks out of my room. I hear her exchange goodbyes to my flatmates before the front door shuts.

I look down at my phone and answer Charlie. We have been talking nonstop for the past two weeks. I haven't seen him outside of our form class together but I want to. I just haven't asked.

"You ready for tonight?" Christian asks from my bedroom door. "Yeah, Mate. I'm excited. You?" I ask back as I climb out of bed. "First rugby match of the year!" Otis yells as he quickly walks down the hallway to the common room.

I check the time on my phone. "We should probably get to campus soon." I note and start to back my duffle bag with my rugby things. "Want me to drive?" Sai asks from behind Christian. "Yeah. Thanks." Christian says, patting his shoulder before they both walk away to their rooms.

The ride to campus is pretty quick. The guys talking about the other uni's team. I guess they looked into the players on the team. I just sat in the back in silence.