Case Reopened

Not Wanting to Go Home

Cause when life gets hard they are my happy place, as you already know.

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Carter laid along the stone railing that led to the parking lot. It wasn't an easy task, only a portion of her being able to balance on the ledge. But still, she laid there, staring up at the sky, her hands shoved into the pocket of her hoodie.

The school grounds were silent, the last of the students having driven away or been picked up by their parents or their parents' assistants.

The option of walking to the metro and taking herself home passed through Carter's mind. She could message Captain and tell him that she got home by herself. But he'd said he'd pick her up and Carter wanted to wait.

She wanted to wait until it was dark if that's how long it took. She waited to stay there and not deal with the idea of going home by herself and walking into a dark, empty apartment.

Eight months of this reality and she still felt like turning around and running every time she saw it. It all looked the same. The same photos of a happy family on the walls. But that family was gone.

Home had once been a safe and warm place. Nothing in its appearance had changed. But still, it no longer felt like the home she knew. All because of one person. Carter had never thought one person could do so much damage to a life. And for what reason? Why destroy something that had been happy?

But maybe happy wasn't what it had been for her...

Carter thought they were happy. She thought they lived a life that most would envy. Laughter, late nights, love. All those things felt fresh in Carter's mind. What she grappled with was the two realities. In one, she had a family that felt happy and loving. In the other, out of nowhere, one parent had left without reason.

The person she'd known, who held her, who whispered she loved her in her ear, who wiped away her tears, who kissed her cheek, who stood like a pillar in Carter's life was no longer there.

And the person she knew didn't make sense with the one who walked out.

What had made her change?

What had made the apartment no longer feel warm?

What made Carter hate being alone in a place she'd been alone in before with no problem?

What had Carter done to make her mother leave?

It was the loop in Carter's mind that she could never find a finish line to. Over and over again the questions circled each other. Somedays they felt fainter in her mind. But other days when the noise of the world wasn't there, they were all Carter could hear.

And somehow they were loudest in the apartment when she was on her own.

So she planned to stay on the wall until Captain arrived. Besides, she wasn't bothering anyone. Even most of the teachers had left, checking in on her as they went and continuing on their way when Carter said she was fine.

Carter blinked slowly up at the sky wondering if someone could lose their mind watching the slow progress of time in the shifting of the sun.

Carter heard someone approaching but didn't move, the steps weren't Captain's and she hadn't heard his car pull up to the front stairs. The person walked to where Carter's feet ended and took a seat next to them. Carter sighed.

"Mason," Carter said. "If you're in love with me can you just tell me so I can reject you and we can stop having conversations?"

"Okay. I love you."