Life and All It's Complexities

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What's up, My Beautiful Blueberries!

Ah yes *sighs deeply* Another week and no one shot. Does it hurt you as much as it hurts me? Or are you so busy living a wild and crazy life that you've barely noticed?

I hope that it's the latter because I feel like that would make me feel better about not be able to post a one shot. But not sure, it's still pretty awful I'm missing my arm and heart. Yes, I'm missing my heart as well as my arm (which is a metaphor for the loss of my creativity) because Mason owns my heart. So what am I supposed to do now that I haven't seen him in a couple of weeks!

I'm heartless person now! I mean I always was in some sense, I put you through enough pain in my one shots at times that it has to be what I am.

I'm losing track of why I popped in. How was your week? For those who celebrated Christmas, how was it? What was something that made you happy? 💭💬🗯

As for me... My life was kind of a mess. I got sick, like really sick can't-leave-the-couch-look-like-death-sick. It was bad and depressing. It's slowly got better. But it meant for Christmas I spent the whole time on the couch with a blanket. I did make it to our family Christmas dinner so that was nice.

Over the week I slowly got better. Then I was in the weird place where I wasn't completely better but I didn't want to spend the whole day on the couch watching something, you know how it is, so I started cleaning the outside of our house.

I don't know if I'm the only one like this, but when I'm stressed I clean. I get to listen to music and instantly get satisfaction at seeing something improved.

This was the song I kept queuing up because it feels like a warm hug to me.

Today I am doing better. I cleaned the entire driveway. It was covered in leaves and I cleared it all out. It was very nice and I cleaned the pathway to the main door. Something about cleaning makes me think of love. When things are clean I think of love. I think that might be one of the strangest statements I've made but who knows maybe you feel the same way.

Anyways, in one shot news! I did start writing a little something. I felt an immense amount of guilt for not continuing it and instead cleaning. But something about cleaning is helping me mentally. Also Murph pointed out that you'd care more about that fact that I was taking care of myself (by cleaning for some strange reason) then writing.

Even though for me the only way I feel I can show you my love and gratitude is through writing chapters for you. And when I can't do that I feel like I'm letting you down and I'll lose you.

But I guess if some of you leave that's okay. It's been amazing having you in my life as long as I have.

Haha wow! This started off so happy and witty and now it's going deep. Well I guess the deepness is for those of you who have stayed through the whole reading of this life insight!

I love you. I could say it a million times but it wouldn't be enough. But thank you for just being part of my life! I love you a million skittles!

 But thank you for just being part of my life! I love you a million skittles!

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