hoodies - luke brooks

3

Elle

I wake up every morning feeling the exact same way.Lonely,depressed and sad.Waking up to the stench of alcohol and smoke isn't anything anyone would want to wake up with.Hearing my mom and her one night stand last night wasn't something I enjoyed either.I always promised myself that I would save enough money to get out of this hell whole.Also,that when I get older I would treat my children with respect and make sure they are safe and secure.Also, to make sure they are happy give them everything that my own mom couldn't provide.To treat them differently from what my mother had treated me.

Going downstairs I see my mom with a bottle of whiskey in her hand and a cancer stick in her hand.By cancer stick I mean cigarette.People say smoking cigarettes help relive the stress and ease the pain away.But we all know that's a lie.They don't ease or take the pain or stress away they add to it.By making you feel that everything is going to be ok when its really not.There's always that little doubt in the back of your mind.Its like an addiction once you start you can't or won't stop.Its almost the same as me cutting.The way they say it the two are almost the same.I mean the pain was like taking ibuprofen for your headache.It was like instant relief but it wasn't instant.It was temporary. Until you came back wanting to do it again.The urge and the desire to do it again and again.Until you realize that there's no relief in doing so.

"Why don't you come over here and make your dear mother breakfast."Janice slurred taking a sip of the half empty glass bottle of whiskey on her hand.Janice is my mom but I don't think she deserves the title of being called a mom.

"I'd rather not and you don't even act like a mom more like a monster." I muttered to myself.

"What did you say you little slut." She said walking over to me."You know I would pf preferred for you to die instead of my husband.Your a worthless piece of shit you disgust me.You mean nothing to me.Your a drunken mistake and failed abortion."As the word mistake came out of her moth I couldn't help but cry and feel worthless.

Called a mistake by your parents is the worst thing that could happen to anyone during their lifetime.All of the words that came out of her mouth was like knives being stabbed into my heart.The last word she said was abortion and then a hard slap was felt on my left check.A red hand print on my face the stinging sensation on my face from the slap.I was used to it though.Her abusing me and making me feel worthless.

"I hate you."I said my tears streaming down my face.Janice looked at my wide eyed and just stared at me.She took one step close to me and threw me on the ground.Taking her half empty bottle of whiskey and smashed that on the ground close to me.Pieces of glass ending up onto my body.Where my feet were and a couple of pieces on my leg.

"Don't you ever say that again to me."She said looking down onto me with.Her eyes were bloodshot red and a vein popping out from her neck.With that she turned around and left.I heard the front door slam signalling she was gone.

I carefully got up whimpering as my feet landed onto some pieces of the glass from the broken bottle.I went upstairs to the bathroom and pulled the toilet seat down and sat down.I rinsed a towel with some cold water to get some of the blood off of my legs and arm.Then carefully I began to pull out the pieces of glass from out off my foot and rinsed my foot off in some cold water.

I began to put concealer onto some of the cuts on my arm and legs.Which I'm glad that I don't have as many cuts on my legs as I do on my body underneath clothes.Knowing how my mother beats me it will take time for the cuts to heal and get better.When I leave this hell whole the healing process will be much quicker.

Today Sarah had made plans for us to go to the mall to get a break from school.I have a lot of money saved up from work but I really don't plan on spending it unless its something necessary.Also,its a relief for me because I won't have to see my mom for half of the day.Also,hearing her having sex with some random dude every night.I mean shes 38 yet she acts like shes 20 but hey as long as no one knows she my mom its all good.The only people who would probably know about my moms drinking problem was him.But hes in the past long gone and forgotten.

I ran and my car keys from my room and got into my car.Today was a pretty chilly day in Melbourne.So I wore a long sleeved lilac colored sweater and denim high wasted skinny jeans and white converse.I drove to the mall which was about a 20 minute drive and I met up with Sarah and Ellen in Starbucks.I ordered my regular drink which was a grande vanilla bean frappuccino.We began walking around the mall and into different stores.We went into Pacsun,Forever 21,Urban Outfitters,H&M and other random stores.I just brought some top and most importantly hoodies and sweatshirts.

After carrying about 5 bags we finally went into the food court to eat.Erin left to go get our orders from McDonald's placed in.So Sarah and I just had a regular conversation about anything and everything.A couple of minutes later Erin came and set down my 10 piece chicken nuggets.When we finished eating and throwed away our things it was 4pm.So we then decided to leave the mall and have a little get together at Erin's house.I was mainly excited because no mom tonight and I won't have to get a beating like usual.Even though I'm pretty much used to it.

Walking out the mall and into the car paring lot I was looking down onto my phone until I had bumped into a real hard toned chess.My long brown hair flowing into my face.I squeezed my eyes shut waiting to hit the ground but I didn't. I didn't feel the impact instead I felt my waist being gripped by  strong muscular toned arms .Wincing at the pain he was putting on my waist I decided to get up and out of that persons arm and thank them.

I looked up and I was met with the same pair of hazel eyes that I grew to love.My best friend and someone who I thought well was my best friend.

I sucked in a deep breath and said,,"Thank you." Looking up to meet his hazel eyes.With that I turned around and walked to my car.

Luke

The boys and I decided to go to the mall today to  try and film a new video.Since we needed to post.The boys were walking ahead of me and I was just walking alone pondering my thoughts.Like how we totally are going to fuck up this video but hey its always going to be a fail video.Walking straight ahead I had my eyes fixed on the road ahead of myself and trying to catch up with the guys.I was too busy trying to catch up to them that I accidentally bumped into this girl.She blushed a little shade of pink but I pretended I didn't see it.She slowly looked up at me and then I realized it was her.

She stood herself up and said a straight "Thank you." and left to go towards her car.It was the first time I came into contact with her or even held eye contact.

The way her hazel green eyes shinned in the light.Her light brown hair flopping in front of her face.She was dressed really pretty today.Her hair pinned straight and her lilac colored sweater and jeans and her white low top converse or chucks on.I couldn't help but stare at her as she left.I wanted to have a conversation with her but I guess it wasn't the right time.If she could barely hold eye contact with me then she probably wouldn't even want to have a conversation with me at least.

Running towards the boys I couldn't help but think of her again.She was always in my mind.She was like a drug.Its meant for us to be together.We were meant to be unbreakable but then we became breakable.I wish I could of talked to her or even hear her say me name.

"Hey Luke whats up with you." James questioned. "You also look flustered bro what happened." James was like another brother to me.We are really close to each other.Its like Jai and I we can sense when each other is upset or sad frightened nervous.I looked up at him and shrugged my shoulders and looked down frowning.

"Its her,isn't it you say her right." I looked down and shook my head now muttering another "no." under my breath.

"Luke don't play stupid I know that familiar brunette from anywhere and she still wear converse all the time." James said trying to get to me.He and I both know hes right and I had saw Elle.James turned around to me and sighed.

"Luke I know and everyone knows that you need Elle just like she needs you." James sighed but began talking again."She may not want to talk to you right now just give it some time."

With that James began walking ahead of me and went up to the rest of the guys.I thought about what James had said.He was right.

I need her just like she needs me.