Little Sanchez // USWNT

Chapter 46

Ainsley's POV

I walked back into my room and silently walked outside to the small deck out our sliding door. I stood there, leaning against the trailing, watching everything around me. Neither Ash nor Tara followed me out. 

It was peaceful. It was just me. I felt almost content, in a way, because I'd gotten everything off my chest that had to be said, plus a little bit more. 

Maybe she never wanted to see me again. Maybe I'd have to go through with it for real. The trade request I put through. 

The one I never told anyone about. 

Not even Ash. 

Tomorrow could be my last game with the Spirit and nobody but me knows it. 

There was an offer from Gotham FC. Spirit front office said they'd let me choose if the offers matched, or came close enough. I'm not sure why they are treating me differently from other players, but not a lot of players get that choice. 

Chicago said they'd have an offer by the end of next week, so I'm holding out for them. 

I already picked my favorite pictures from my time with the Spirit for my Instagram post. I wrote out a caption. It's going to happen. I'm really gonna leave. 

I can't see her face anymore. I just can't. 

I can't feel sad and heartbroken anymore. I just can't. 

And yes, I'll be sad to leave, but there will be a ton of new adventures wherever I go. 

I figured I had to tell Ash at some point. Tonight might not be the best night, because she's really unhappy about something. 

Or maybe she found out. 

Whatever happened, tonight wasn't the night. 

as i prepare to do the hardest thing i've ever had to do, i want everyone to know how grateful i am for the short time i've had with the Spirit. 
before the draft, i'd been caught in a burning building. my lungs are permanently damaged, and i basically had no business being in that draft. but Spirit took a chance on me. and for that, i am forever and ever grateful. 
i am so thankful to have met so many amazing teammates who i am lucky enough to call friends. they helped push me to be my best every single day and lifted me up with i needed a boost. 
and to my biggest fan, my partner in crime, my best friend, and my favorite person all in one, without you, i never, ever would have made it back to the field. ashley, i can't believe we really got to play together, even if it was a short time. 
that being said, i could not be more excited to start my new chapter in (insert city here) with (insert team here)! (city), i'll see you soon!

I cried so much writing that. Now just thinking about it is making me cry. 

I was about ready to use it. I know the trade is gonna have to happen, and there's nothing left for me to do except for be grateful for everything Spirit has given me and get ready to move on.