Little Sanchez // USWNT

Chapter 47

Ainsley's POV

There was a knock on the sliding glass door, and then someone opened it. 

I didn't turn around, because I knew it was Ash. 

I kept my eyes forward, and she didn't move any closer to me. 

After a few long, silent seconds, a voice broke through, shocking me. 

"So you really put in a trade request?" 

It was Trinity. 

"How'd you find out?" I still avoided looking at her. 

"Ash told me." 

"How'd she even find out?" 

"I'm not sure. She just blew up at me a little while after you left the table."She paused. "Actually, I do know." 

"Who told her?" 

"One of the travelling staff members asked her about it. She had no idea, and she started flipping out. Tara got her to calm down, but after picking at her food for a while, she got all pissed at me." 

Our whole conversation was very monotone and dull, slightly awkward but not as bad as you'd expect. 

"What'd you even have to do with it?" 

"You requested the trade because of me, Ainsley." 

"Maybe that's not the only reason." 

"But it is." 

"You don't know that." 

"Yes I do." 

"No you don't." 

"Yes I do." 

"No you don't." 

"Yes, I do." 

I was quiet for a few seconds. 

"Yes. You do." 

Silence. 

"You know I love it here so much. The city, not so much, but being a pro athlete and fucking avoiding cities is like, a teacher avoiding students, or a zookeeper avoiding animals, or a businessman avoiding being boring." 

She laughed, and I smiled, looking at her for the first time. 

She'd been crying, I could tell. 

I wanted to give her a big hug, and apologize a million times. I wanted things to go back to the way they were, even though I know that can never happen. 

"I missed you saying things like that." 

"I fucking miss saying things like that."  

A comfortable silence fell between us. 

"I'm sorry I ever hurt you, Trinity. I'm so fucking sorry you have no idea." I said, chewing on my lip to keep from crying. 

"Maybe I could have been more reasonable-" 

"Don't put this on yourself. You don't deserve some shitty person like me." I said standing up. "But the more I see you, the more I miss you, and the more I regret everything. That's why I have to go." 

"Ainsley." 

"I regret going to that party, I regret kissing him, I regret not fighting harder for you." That's when the tears hit. "I regret not saying it, when I fucking knew it damn well that I loved you. Because I loved you." 

She pulled me into a hug, which I absolutely didn't expect. She was warm against the relatively chilly spring Chicago air. I just cried, and I could feel her sobbing too. 

"You can't leave. You can't go." 

"I have to." 

"But you can't." 

"Trinity, I can't go on like this. I'm sad all the time. I'm uninspired. I'm tired. I'm depressed. I need to not see you every day and think about how badly I screwed up." 

"But why can't you stay? I need you?" She said. 

"I-" 

"I need you to stay. Please. I need you, Tara needs you, and more than anyone, Ash needs you." 

I let go of her. 

"I love you." She said through a shaky breath. "I need you to stay. I love you." 

I hugged her again, unable to resist the opportunity. 

I had no idea if we'd ever have a moment like this again. 

"Stay, Ainsley." 

"I can't. You don't understand. I can't." 

Silence. 

"I'm sorry." 

I thought she was gonna let go of me and walk away, turn and leave and not come back. I thought for sure tomorrow was going to be my last game with the Spirit. I thought for sure this was it for us. 

"Ainsley. I know you wouldn't hurt me on purpose." She said quietly. 

"If I had a second chance, I'd never, ever fuck it up like I did before." I said so quietly I didn't think she could hear even me. 

"And I know that. Which is why I'm giving you that chance." She let go of me, looking me straight in the eyes. "I really want to make it work." 

"I want that more than anything." I smiled. "But let's take it a little slower this time, yeah?" 

"Yeah." She laughed. "Sounds good to me." 

I opened the sliding glass door and we went inside. We put on a movie and I fell asleep cuddled into her, just happy to be with her again.