nsb oneshots!!!!

think (sebryan)

I try to think of all the reasons i shouldn't do this. But it's very hard to rationalize when you've had a couple of drinks. I try to focus on my phone, blinking back the water in my eyes. It's definitely not tears. It's probably a result of yawning. I focus on the names of the contacts as I scroll. I pause on the contacts listed under R. Ryan, Ryan, Ryan. There. I stop on his number and tap  it. I press the text option but my phone slips and my finger taps the call button. I groan. That's too much progress in one day. I try to end the call but he's already picked up. Shit. I press the phone to my ears with my left hand and cover my other ear with my right. "Sebastian?" His voice comes out unsure. Think, Sebastian. Think. How do I even cover up for this slip up? "Hey Ryan." My voice comes out slurred despite me trying to stabilize it. He's quiet for a few minutes and then I hear him sigh. "Where are you, Sebastian?" I don't reply. "Let me guess. The club?" I hum in response and I hear him sigh again. I hear moving as he hangs up. I put my phone in my pocket and slumped over the table. The bartender grabbed my empty shot glasses. I hold up my hand, not looking up. "Two more." I hear him pouring shots so I look up. He looked so sympathetic. He pushes them towards me. "Do you have anyone picking you up?" I down a shot and look at him. "Possibly. Hopefully." I down the others. I order a couple more rounds of shots and when I'm at my 6th, and I'm already beyond drunk, the door to the club swings open. I set my shot glass down and glance in that direction. Shit, it's Ryan. He's wearing a tank top with cargo pants and it's the hottest thing ever. I mentally squeal and run my fingers through my hair. He is heading in my direction and I'm already shaking. Is it nerves? Is it me being scared? It's probably both. He walks closer and places a hand on my shoulder. No words pass between us as I stand up and leave with him. I had already paid for the drinks prior. "I brought my car." I say. "I didn't. I Uber'ed here." He holds out his hands so I place my car keys in them. He gets in the driver's seat and I get in the passenger seat. "Passenger princess?" He mutters under his breath. I laugh but I can't process much. The next 30 minutes go by in a blur.

I must've fallen asleep or blacked out. I woke up on a bed. My head is pounding and I feel like my body weighs 10 times more. I reach over to my bedside table. Only it isn't there. I frown and force myself to look around. I'm in Ryan's bed. What the fuck. I force myself to sit up. When I do, I feel dizzy and lightheaded. I lay back down, trying to think about what happened. Nothing. I remember nothing at all. I try to speak but my throat feels like it's on fire. I place my hand on my forehead. I'm burning up. This couldn't get any worse. I sit up again and get off the bed. My knees feel shaky and wobbly. I focus on walking only. I make it to the door before collapsing on the ground. I'm so frustrated, I start to cry. It's weird but the tears come anyway. A few minutes later Ryan is standing above me. I hear him sigh. He sits down beside me and pulls me to him. "Shit. You're burning up. Come on, let's get you to bed." He helps me up and settles me on the bed. "Be right back."

He comes back a few minutes later, with soup and medicine. He sets them beside me and grabs a thermometer to take my temperature. "What did you do yesterday? You're hungover and you also have high fever." Ryan shakes his head in disappointment and sighs. I look down at my fingers. He grabs the bowl of soup and hands it to me. "Eat. Oliver made this for you." I don't resist and eat. I feel lightheaded and my head is throbbing with pain. "I feel like I'm gonna pass out. I feel lightheaded." Ryan sets the soup aside and hands me the medicine. "Here, take this." I dry swallow the pill and take a drink of water afterwards. I don't know if now is the right time to bring it up, but my hungover brain is too foggy to rationalize or even think straight. "Is now a good time for me to ask why you've not been staying here and have been completely ignorant of my existence?" Ryan widens his eyes and looks at me. "What?" "You heard what I said, Ryan. Tell me what's wrong. Don't bottle it up and expect me to figure it out." Ryan shakes his head. "I was giving you space. The space that you yourself wanted?" I'm confused. "When did I ever say that?" Ryan unlocks his phone and shows me a screenshot. "I knew you'd be confused. But this one is from your private snapchat stories." I read the text and frown. It says, "some people don't know how to respect someone's decision and leave them the fuck alone. smh dude, grow the fuck up and learn to respect what I ask. don't be stuck up about shit i told you was happening and shit that you were aware of." He raises as eyebrow in questioning. "Tell me now, Sebastian. What does this mean? We had a disagreement that day, and instead of talking to me about it, you went and ranted on your snap story." "That-that was not ev-even meant f-for you." "It wasn't? So who was it meant for?" "Tristan. Well, shit happens, okay? He doesn't really agree with us being together, because, well." I don't know how to finish that sentence without mildly offending Ryan. "Finish your sentence, Sebastian." "Well um. You know. Considering-considering your p-past?" I say with a shaky voice. "W-what?" Ryan says more in shock. "It's... I mean... He's kinda really aware of how you were a few years back and um... Yeah." Think, Sebastian. Think. Retreat, quick. "It's stupid to think that, Ryan. I'm sorry I made you feel that I meant that story as a response to you." Ryan doesn't say anything and sighs. "I guess? It's fine? Is it?" "Are you okay?" "Yeah, I just. Didn't expect that outcome." I say nothing as I hug him.

And it really is that easy to solve an issue between two people.

thank you for reading!
um yeah, i'm really really sorry for the inactivity. but guess what, my finals start from november 9 <3 i've been desperately trying to catch up on all the work while also having to maintain the progress i've made on my mental health. i've been clean for two weeks, that's progress, right? also, my birthday is coming up on october 30!!! i'm turning 15 (wth?) i know, shocking, but i'm finally gonna be 15. i also want to thank y'all for the reads?!😭😭literally crying what. i love y'all sm<3

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