Snowleap's Fortitude

|| Chapter 8 ||

"Many seasons ago, I was Coldgaze's medicine cat. I was an apprentice when that... tyrant rose up in power and became the sole king of MistClan."

Snowpaw listened intently, his ears pricked and his gaze narrowed. Seven days had passed since the unsuccessful trial to expose the truth behind Dewspring's death. During that time, Dappledleaf had been impossible to converse with outside of training, her words short and concise; these seven days seemed to have aged her even more, so Snowpaw tried his best to be patient with the molly. 

Today, when she finally opened up to him, it was to explain Seedstep's choice of words- 'the Holly Leafed Genocider' -that he had used to refer to her. While most of Snowpaw's Clanmates had seemingly forgotten the elder's allegation, he did not.

"In a way, I was his closest advisor," the medicine cat solemnly continued. "I didn't agree with his actions, but I had no choice." She sighed, closing her eyes for a few moments before gazing back at her apprentice. "I-I would've been killed! All who retaliated were killed... or worse, severely injured by him..." She paused, pinning her ears back as a cough wracked her frail frame. "I wasn't able to reach StarClan at the time, so I didn't know what to do, and those he injured- they would've died either way. I didn't want to prolong their suffering, so I killed them with hollies. It was my duty as a medicine cat."

Snowpaw's eyes slightly widened, his claws pricking out to dig into the medicine den's soil. His mouth felt dry as he swallowed. So that's why-? He lost his train of thought as Dappledleaf continued.

"Coldgaze had a child, and his child had children: Seedstep and Acornpaw. When Coldgaze and his child were eventually killed, only Seedstep and Acornpaw remained. They were shunned by everyone for crimes they never did commit." Dappledleaf flicked her tail, lamenting. Another cough wracked her body. "But I was forgiven, because StarClan willed it so... StarClan refused to let my crimes get dwelled upon, so it became forbidden to speak of them. And yet, somehow, my apprentice Dovepaw found out, and he told his best friend Seedstep."

"Dovepaw snapped. I don't know why, but he wanted me to suffer for the time I spent as Coldgaze's advisor. He wanted us all to suffer, he wanted us all to die." Dappledleaf seemed helpless as she stared into Snowpaw's eyes. She took a deep, shaky breath as she confessed. "He killed himself by ingesting holly berries. The Clan proved that it was suicide, but Seedstep still refuses to believe that. He thinks that I murdered Dovepaw."

A silence fell upon the medicine den. Snowpaw had no idea of what to say, or rather, he had no idea how he could even utter a word. He dragged his gaze down to his paws, shifting them anxiously. After a few moments, he sheathed his claws and lifted his head, exhaling as he looked at Dappledleaf. "...I'm sorry. You didn't deserve to go through any of that," he awkwardly stammered out.

Gradually, a small, relieved smile formed on the old medicine cat's face. "You're a good cat, Snowpaw. Don't let anyone change that. No matter how hard your life is, or gets, don't lose sight of your purpose and morals. And above all, always be accepting of StarClan and their divine will."

Ignoring Dappledleaf's comment about StarClan, Snowpaw dipped his head in acknowledgement, sensing that silence was a sufficient and preferred response. I'll be sure to follow your advice, Dappledleaf. While part of me can't understand how you were "content" with waiting idly for Coldgaze's eventual demise, part of me can understand your actions. He tilted his head ever-so-slightly to the right. A pit of trepidation swelled in his chest. I should try to speak to Nightpaw about this- about Coldgaze- tonight. 

"It's getting late. Bring me a sparrow, and then eat your own supper," Dappledleaf rasped as an order, her purr breaking up. "You're free for the rest of the afternoon, so leave camp if you wish. Just bring back a few juniper berries when you return."