By Chance | Book One |

Chapter Fifty Two

River

The next couple days, Lyra stayed in her room. Never coming out when I was there.

Everything was a big fucking mess. One we just had to get sex involved with.

I haven't stopped thinking about her since that night, she lived in my head. Consuming every waking thought. My dreams.

I didn't want to think about her. I was mad at her too.

I was mad at myself.

I couldn't stop myself. I wanted Lyra. I couldn't hold back anymore. As soon as her lips made contact with my dick, I knew I was just putty in her hands.

Here we were at this god awful Christmas party thrown by the snooty rich people here at the resort.

Overly expensive food, drinks and decorations. Drunk moms and their teen daughters at every table, while their husbands were off talking about business.

There she was. Wearing a tight, silk red dress. It hugged her body, showing off her legs. And she had a white jacket over her dress.

She had a smile covering her plump lips. Max's hand was on her hip while he smiled down at her, laughing at whatever she had said.

His hands were on her, on the dress I know I paid for.

I shouldn't care, I shouldn't care that he's handsy with her. Or that he just fucking kissed her.

"They look happy." Teddy nudged me with his elbow, before taking a sip of the Christmas drink Sasha brought him. "They're getting along."

I shrugged, taking a sip of my own drink. "Where's Sash?"

"Dancing with her sisters."

I looked over to the dance floor and found Sasha dancing with her sisters. A bright smile spread across their faces as Sash twirled them around.

"I'm going to get another drink and dancing with my girl."

"I'll find you after."

The moment that flash of red slipped through the door, I followed close behind.

Her red heels clicked as made her way down the hall. I caught up to her within a couple steps, grabbed her wrist and dragged her into wherever the door I opened went to.

My heart pounded against my chest.

"What the fuck?" She smacked my chest hard.

The light flickered on, revealing the cleaning supplies that covered the walls and shelves of the small room.

"What the hell is your problem, River? You're psychotic."

"I have had to watch that jackass have his hands all over your body. All over the dress I bought you."

Her eyes flickered to mine. "Your parents technically paid for it."

"I'm the one that paid my Amex bill last month, Baby. I know exactly what I bought you."

She made a gagging face. "Do not call me baby."

"You like when I'm fucking you."

"Do not remind me." Her hands went over her ears as she cringed.

That was an act.

All of that was. She didn't hate herself as much as she wished had for sleeping with me.

Nor do I hate myself as much as I should.

"Are the panties red too?"

My eyes dropped to her chest. She wasn't wearing a bra, only the thin silk material covering her large breasts.

Her hard nipples poked through the fabric.

"Just because you paid for it, doesn't mean you get to see it."

"Neither does he."

"It's my body."

"You're acting like a bitch when you freaked out and left, you know."

"Because you got exactly what you wanted, River. You got to fuck me like you wanted, for whatever reason."

That pissed me off.

Jesusssss.

I was an asshole to her, I didn't like her. But I wanted her.

Even if I was blind, it would be impossible to not want her.

How didn't she know that?

She was beautiful. The most gorgeous woman to walk the face of the earth.

"Have fun with him then, Lyra."

"You told me to stay away from you and your friends. That's just what I'm doing."

"That's exactly what you're doing? You're just going to drop Teddy and Sasha?"

Her eyes widened. "That's what you wanted this entire time. You get what you want. Just leave me alone."

The next time I saw her, she was with Max again. She was using him to distance herself.

Teddy and Sasha didn't seem to notice and were happy.

They always were.

And I ruined that just because I kissed her multiple fucking times. Which led to all this.

I drank at that party. That was sure.

I drank way too much.

I ended up shit faced on the couch in the living room. Something my mom would give me a caring earful about later.

The next morning my head throbbed. The light burned my eyes as they slowly opened.

Sasha was putting a glass of water next to a stack of pancakes with bacon and fruit.

"Sash?"

"Shhh." She whispered and kneeled on the floor. "Everyone's sleeping."

She moved my hair away from my forehead and helped me sit up.

"Thank you."

She sat on the other end of the couch. "Eat."

I grabbed the plate and took a small bite of the chocolate chip pancake.

"Thank you."

"What happened? You drank so much last night Ryder and August could only get you this far. Was it Ivy?"

I froze at the sound of her name. "Not today, Sasha." I bit out.

"If you're going to be an ass right through Christmas, I'm not going to take it. I am so sorry your twin sister is dead, River. But you have to stop taking it out on everyone. I'm here to talk, to help you."

"No one gets it. None of you understand."

"Your parents and Ryder went through the same thing."

"She was my everything." I snapped at her.

The look of hurt washed over her face.

I had never, ever snapped at Sasha that way. It was so harsh. Cold. Cruel.

It hurt instantly.

"Sash, I'm sorry." My voice broke.

"I want you to be okay, River. You need to talk to someone. Maybe even a professional." She held her hand up, knowing I had protests about therapists. "You know, Lyra has been through something similar. I know you know about Bridgette, and she was Lyra's everything. She also lost her parents. Teddy and I can offer you all the help we can, try to help in every way, but you lost something in a way I can't possibly understand. Or feel. I need you to stick around, River. We all do."

Sasha teared up. She hardly cried in front of anyone. She turned her head quickly and got up with a sniffle. "She's hurting just as much as you are."