FEARLESS ➳ TWD¹ [REWRITE/COMPLETED]

38 ➳ DAMNED

"YOU should be good to go now, Tess," Andy decided after he patched me up from when I was shot earlier. "I cleaned and wrapped it, but you'll have to do the rest later."

"Thanks, Andy," I quietly thanked him, dipping my head down as I said it. He nodded and dipped his head down, too, and walked over to Paul and the others.

Morgan, however, was standing nearby, and I decided that it was now time to talk to him. He was hanging on the fence, which was filled with Walkers on the inside. They were trying to get at us, but we wouldn't let them.

"I don't wanna die," I decided to say first to him. "I just thought that I should let you know that."

Even though I wasn't looking directly at him, I could see from the corner of my eye that he was slowly nodding before he said, "That's good. I'm glad that it's over and done with now."

"Yeah, but," I paused before looking up at him in question. "Why do I feel dead, though?"

He looked down at me and asked, "What do you mean?"

I shrugged and sighed all in one motion. "I don't know. I'm alive. I know that, but I just feel like my time is coming, y'know? I mean, maybe I've killed enough people and burned enough bridges in this life that it's time for me to move on, y'know?"

Slowly, Morgan nodded and went back to looking forward. "I know what you mean. I do. I felt that way for a long time. Might still do. I don't know."

"Morgan," came my concerning tone, "what happened to Richard?"

I had only heard of his passing earlier since he wasn't mentioned at Sasha's memorial. It was Carol who had told me of what she knew since she wasn't there when it happened. Yet, I wanted to hear Morgan tell me.

"He... He just died," he said at first, shaking his head. "He got Ben killed. I couldn't... I couldn't just let him live after that."

"I understand," I whispered but gulped when remembering the little bits and pieces of the story that I had heard earlier. "He had to go. He... He got Ben killed. He was a really good kid."

"He was," Morgan agreed with a nod. "He shouldn't have gone out that way."

"And, what about you? Where does that leave you, Morgan?" I asked, turning the spotlight back on him. "You didn't want to kill anyone, but you turned back to the dark side - like I have - and decided to kill again. Why? I thought that every life was precious."

"It is," he somewhat muttered out and hesitated to shake his head. "What 'bout you? Hm? Do you still feel guilty about your friends?"

"Morgan, I-"

"You shouldn't," he quickly cut me off before I could break out into song. He finally was looking at me while shaking his head here and there, and everywhere. "Nah, you shouldn't, Tess. You couldn't save them. That's not your fault. All you can do now, Tess, is..." He paused, hesitating to say anything else. He quickly recovered, though. "All you can do now is kill Negan, yourself, and maybe then - and only then - will you feel better. Maybe, but don't count on it, though, Tess."

I understood what Morgan was trying to tell me. He was trying to say that, even if I kill Negan all by myself, I might still never feel satisfied. I may never be happy, even if I strangle Negan with my bare hands and watch him gurgle for another breath. I understood this, and this is why he was right.