THE BEFORE THING: RINGMASTER SHOUTS LET THE SHOW BEGIN!

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The boat slows to a halt, the survivors flooding to the front to take a look at their new home for the next however the hell long they'll be competing. Chris is standing casually on the the very not ebony sand. Harold pushes himself to the front of the croud, just before Chris yells the most beautiful phrase in TV history... "ALRIGHT CAMPERS!" Chris shouts shoutingly. "I FORGOT TO WRITE MY OPENING SPEECH BECAUSE I WAS PLANNING MY WEDDING AND HELPING MY CHILDREN WITH THEIR HOMEWORK! JUST COME DOWN HERE AND START, YOUVE ALL DONE THIS BEFORE!"

Like, a minute later...

Chris yells one last note before the show begins. "OH YEAH, BY THE WAY DUDES, I FORGOT TO CONTAIN THE ZOMBIE VIRUS! ALSO EVERYONE WHO VOTED FOR THE CAMPER WHO GOT THE MOST VOTES IN THE ELIMINATION EATS THE LOSER! THEY DIE! SERIOUSLY! ANYWAYS-" Literally every single victim of the island interrupts Chris with the same a few words... "WAIT WHAT THE FUCK?" Chris responds "DONT ASK! ANYWAYS, LET THE SHOW BEGIIIIIIN!" Suddenly, a horde of zombies arrives. Chris looks around as the zombies run toward him. "UH.... UHH.... UHHHHH.... DUDES!!! SAVE ME DUDES!!!!!!!!!" A laugh erupts from the shocked croud. Courtney. Nobody really cares enough to do anything about her. The zombies dog pile onto Chris and tear him limb from limb. He's able to choke out 3 last words... "NOT... COOL... DUUUUUUUUDES!!!"

SILENCE.

A voice is heard from the crowd. "WHO'S GONNA HOST NOW?" Two shadowed figures step from the trees... "We will, dumbass."


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