In All For Love

All For Love

"Janelle, wake up, baby. We're home" My mother whispers in my ear, softly nudging me awake.    

    I groan as I open my eyes, that I desperately want to close and return back to sleep. I am literally exhausted from that dream, and I hate this feeling of emptiness. Ever since Granny Net just shifted into some damn golden specks and basically pushed me out of the dream, I haven't felt well. I feel numb, sad, and super nauseous.

    "Janelle, you okay?" my mother questions as she checks the temperature of my forehead  by pressing the back of her right hand onto the middle of my forehead.

    I nod, "I'm alright— just tired."

    "Did you have another dream of my granny?" she asks.

Immediately without ever trying, tears roll down my flustered cheeks as I reflect on how Granny left me.

    "Yeah, and it's over."

"What's over?" she asks.

    "The dreams. Granny said that it was time for another sister and their kids/grandchildren to visit another eldest Liggett woman. She told me that she couldn't be in my dreams anymore." I cry.

    My mother sighs, and envelops me in a warm embrace. She smells of lavender with the lingering scent of eucalyptus. "Baby, I understand. I may not have ever had dreams of her like you but I understand the emotional turmoil you are experiencing due to the drastic cut that had to be done. I felt those emotions, when I saw Granny take her last breath."

    Wiping my tears with the back of my right hand, I nod. I don't understand any of this shit, and right now— I don't even have the energy to try and figure it all out. All I want to do is go inside and take a hot shower, I mean hell— I literally slept all the way back home from Kentucky. I should feel more energized than I do right now, and perhaps that's mostly due to the simple fact that three out of the five hours spent in the car, I was dreaming of Granny Net.

    Damn, I'm really going to miss spending time with her and seeing her in my dreams.

____________________________________________________________________

Two weeks later

I wanted nothing more than to be left alone and sulk in my own emotional misery. It's been two weeks since I had a dream about Granny and I've been begging and well— praying to have her visit my dreams ever since. I miss her and everyone else— my great aunties, and cousins too. And if this is how my mother, grandmother, aunties, uncles and cousins felt losing those Liggett family members, then damn— I'm seriously fucked because in all seriousness, what am I supposed to do now? Live?

    "Janelle, you ready?" Chloe asks somberly from my bedroom's doorway.

Ever since that incident happened in Kentucky, when Conner outed her homosexuality, Chloe hasn't been the same since. She's been sadder, subtly giving off energy as if she's depressed, which is completely understandable because Conner was a complete bitch ass— for setting Chloe up to come out when she obviously wasn't ready.

    I groan, while looking over my outfit for Great auntie Diana and Great Auntie Diane funeral once more in my bedrooms floor length mirror. I decided to wear a black dress that's fits my curves thankfully in all the right places. My mom, dad, grandma and sister Tia should be ready by now. Honestly, I think I'm the last one to get ready except for Conner, I wouldn't really include him since the whole incident in Kentucky happened; my family doesn't really talk to him much. I mean my parents and grandmother still communicate with Conner but I believe that it's more out of love than like because ever since Conner claimed he got that white girl Ivory pregnant, he's been acting very different.