When I'm finally happy I get criticized the most I have no idea who the fuck I should be I don't know what to do people will hate me either way I don't know what to do about it anymore "You're so mean now" well that seems the only way to make people respect me is to get more violent and rude today I had a conversation with someone who hates me they mentioned how they don't like the "new me" they hated the old me too I have been thinking about going back to the old me for a while now, but I know if I do I will get hated so much and it was so cringy I'm sorry I'm not the perfect person but that doesn't mean you should hate everything I do and criticize me for it I changed because I didn't want to be criticized well then again nobody does but it made my mental health so fucking bad I attempted. And then when I did they criticized me for that too cuz I thought 5 pills would work made fun of me for it so then I tried 17 I acted like I took a break but in reality I was always there watching the chat seeing what you said seeing what everyone said I never left but I wasn't in a good enough state to talk to anyone my mindset was not good I don't know how to open up and I don't want to be a burden to people I know so therefore I am writing this a friend suggested it to me and I also know when I go back to my old self they will say "you're trying to hard to get me to like you" actually no I'm doing this for myself I knew I needed a change and you just helped me realize how bad I needed it but then again I want to be my old self but I also don't. It's like one part of me wants one thing but the other wants the total opposite when I say people hate me for being me they hate me for trying to figure out who I am. It also pisses me off when people hate me when they act the exact same or someone they know acts exact same for reference I'll explain how I act now when I realized people will hate me regardless of what I do my mindset is like "be whoever tf u want idgaf who tf u are" while my old one was like "HIIII!!! HRU??? ARE YOU OKAY??? POOKIE 😣💔 😻‼️ 😇‼️ ☹️" I miss being energetic
