Hidden Pain...

I've got to get out....

Wednesday 17th March.

6am.

I was woken up by the horrendous noise coming from my step mums room. What a supprise! I was used to this now, Her singing sounds like a dying cat! What on earth put it in her mind that it was a good idea to sing 'The hills are alive with the sound of music' at the top of her voice at 6 in the morning! But i guess it woke me up. In the night i had moved dramatically and had ended up sleeping on my on my arm, it was purple, the bruises on my arms throbbed. It was difficult to move but after a while I had got used to the pain.

6:30am.

I peered into the cereal bowel that had been set out in my seat at the table, i was shocked to find it liked this. on the table there was a note, a bowel of Cheerios (that's new.) and a glass of orange juice. I lifted up the note, I read aloud silently to myself.

This note is just to say goodbye. I can't stay here anymore. It's too much, i feel deeply depressed that i have to leave you this way. I will understand if you hate me but you must realize that it's not right the way I am, the way THIS is!

I hope you find the courage to one day take this step to..

Yours, Timothy Jones, Your beloved father.

He told me to understand. I can't stay here with 'her' i got to get out. How could he leave me like this...Although i wonnder what letter he left her.

7am.

I'll just leave the house as normal, she'll never suspect me..Although i was kidding myself that i was not upset, the tears in my eyes said it all...

7:30am. 

As i carefully pick the paths i should take i think of where to go..I have nowhere. I have no clue where my so called 'dad' is. I've got to go somewhere, anywhere. Anywhere but here! i spot several girls from my year, i don't smile at them, i don't say hello. They don't care anyway, they don't know me. All they know me as was the mental person who nobody likes. Nobody really knows me, not truly...

8am. 

Well whatever i am doing, i'm certainly not getting the bus. I laughed at the thought of missing school, not one day had i missed, not one day of pain...I've faced it all, taken it in my stride, bottled it up. Not once have i lost it, NOT ONCE...

8:30am.

Mrs Watson, The woman who lives down my road and is incredibly nosey, walked past me. "what are you doing here? why aren't you at school young lady?" she asked as she looked down on me. "free period." i replied biting my lip, the worst excuse i know, but it's all i've got. "Okay, well be safe, don't be late back to school." I rolled my eyes and breathed a sigh of relief, I honestly thought she was going to ring 'her' I don't think i can stand any longer at home, it's not even home. It was just a place i slept in. 

9:45am.

I swung my bag off my shoulder as i reached the bench outside the train station, I bashed my arm on the bench, I had forgotten about my bruises and cuts, and i was going to have to forget about them again. I had no idea where to go, but i had made decided what my goal was, I was going to try and find my Aunt. I only found out i had one the other day, It was her 50th birthday and Dad instructed me to write her a birthday card, i thought he was mad for making me do it, i don't even know the woman. haha. Even though i have no idea where to start i grabbed a map. I could go to London i thought to myself, that would be a start. London was where my dad grew up. That was settled, i'll go to London.

10:30am.

I slowly walked through the train searching for a seat. the train was packed. I was tired of walking so i was desperately looking for the first seat i could find. Once i had eventually found one a seat it was next to a young boy. He looked around and my age, dark hair and bright blue eyes. He was good looking in a strange sort of way he was dressed in a black t-shirt, blue jumper, black skinny jeans and Dr Martens. He had my kind of style. "This seat taken?" I asked"no go for it" He replied. "thank you, been looking for a seat for about 10 minuets" I replied trying to start conversation. "yeah, i guess it's pretty busy this morning." He seemed genuinely interested in what i was saying so i tried to get talking.. "what brings you here then?" I questioned "Oh nothing, just traveling to London so to meet a friend, what about you?" "well it's a bit of a long story" I was reluctant to tell him all my background as i had only just met him, I didn't even know his name, but there was something about him. A little sign in my heart said i could trust him, i knew my instincts. 

12:15pm.

We had been talking for a while now, I'd really got to know him, he seemed like a really nice guy. Funny yet understanding. We'd swapped numbers so I could contact him again. I had a good feeling about him. When we arrived in London we both got of at the same stop. We stood on the platform for a few minutes. "text me." He said as he looked into my eyes. "oh don't worry I will, you will never get rid of me now." He grinned at me as he flicked his hair out of his eyes.

1pm.

I was exhausted, I had suddenly come over extremely tired, I had to get to sleep, But i had nowhere to go. I found a quiet door-way, took off my insanley heavy backpack and pulled out all the coats and jumpers i had bought. I put them all over me and rested my head. Goodnight world, At least I'm away...