Reddie Oneshots

🌥️•Alternatives•🌥️

⛈️TW: E/d, S/h, Depression, Anxiety⛈️

If you suffered or are currently suffering with something like this please call your local hotline, you aren't alone and you don't need to suffer in silence

Please don't push yourself to read this or others of my content if you get triggered

Btw this story gives me Insomniac by Memo Boy and Chakra Efendi vibes so you should totally put that on repeat while reading 😉
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Richie pushed his plate away and awkwardly smiled at his mother who looked at him weirdly. "Honey, you aren't eating your dinner?" Richie shook his head and placed his hands down on his lap, itching his thigh softly. He winced at the feeling and continued to do it. "I ate a large lunch earlier at school. I'm not really hungry, haha." He laughed awkwardly. "May I be excused?"

———

Richie stared up at his ceiling in the dark. He looks into the long, seemingly endless nothing and wonders. 'What would life be if I wasn't here?" He wanted to cry. Scream. Do anything, But it seemed that the tears and words were violently ripped from his throat, leaving him bare. His flesh felt like it was turning inside out, exposing his insides for everyone to see. His eyes finally watered, clearing up the desert out of his almost black eyes.

He continued to look up the ceiling for an eternity, quietly crying. He then sat up, tired of his own feelings and wandered into the bathroom through the dark. He opened the door and turned to see himself in the mirror. Maybe if he takes a shower, he thought, it would wipe his feelings away temporarily. He took his shirt off and immediately regretted it. Richie looked at his arms, old and new scars alike, littering from his shoulder to his hand, continuing on the other side. Richie sucked in a labored breath and sighed. He pulled his shorts off, showing again, old and new scars on his thighs.

He picked up a pair of sweatpants and a black hoodie that hung low on his body. He looked in the mirror and ruffled his hair, placing his broken glasses on his face. He sighed and took them back off, placing them on the nightstand by his bed. He threw himself face down on the bed and drifted to sleep.

———At School the next day———

Richie walked up to school, his arms and legs burning, like fire ignited to his skin, from his cuts. He found a guilty pleasure in the burning feeling, praying it would never go away. He found comfort in his numbness. Eddie Kaspbrack. His first real love. His escape. His life. The reason he kept on going. The short boy walked up to Richie and smiled. "Hey Richie!" Eddie smiled up at him, and reached up to ruffle Richie's hair and place a kiss on his cheek. "How's it going?" Richie faked a smile, and stood up tall. "I'm good, how about you? How's your mom?"

They continued talking for a moment and Richie's smile began to fade slowly. He felt like his smile was being held by a needle and thread, forcing his lips up. He had to be happy for Eddie. "Richie, are you okay?" Eddie asked, looking at Richie concerned. Richie swallowed hard and felt his eyes water. "I-" He bit his lip. Eddie took this as a no, and grabbed his hand pulling him into the boys bathroom, locking the door and hugging Richie. (There's no one in the bathroom #logic) Richie broke down in tears and was holding on to Eddie like someone was taking him away.

"Richie, My love, what's going on. You don't need to talk to me, I will be here either way, but if you talk to me i might be able to make it better. "Eddie it hurts!" He exclaimed. "I want to be happy Eddie, I don't want to feel bad anymore." He cried, and Eddie hugged him tighter. "I know baby, I'm so sorry. Tell me what's wrong? Please? I want to help you." Richie sobbed some more.

———45 minutes of crying later———

Richie sat up, and wiped his eyes. He looked at his hands, wrists still covered concealing his scarred arm. He was scared. He wasn't scared of Eddie finding it, he was scared of what would happen after. He would hate him, for sure. Richie's mind spirals and hits the darkest part of his brain. 'He's leaving you. He's leaving you. He's lea-' Richie snapped out of it and looked at Eddie. who was shaking him.

"I'm not leaving you. Whatever it is, we will work through it together. We, Richie." Richie half smiled and nodded. He stood up and bit his lip, his heart pounding in his chest. "Promise me. Promise me you won't freak out. Please Eddie." Eddie nodded and looked worried. "Richie, what did you do? Did you hurt yourself?" Richie looked down. "You hurt yourself? Like...Like self harm-? Richie..baby..i.." Eddie stammered. "This is my fault. I should've checked on you before. This is all my fault. You're hurting yourself. Why didn't i check up on you. Jesus. Richie where-? Why?" Richie itched his arm through his sleeve. "You're freaking out, Ed's." Richie awkwardly shifted his weight to his other foot, and looked down. "Can I see?"

Richie looked up at him and nodded reluctantly. "Only if you are comfortable, Richie. Don't force yourself." Richie slowly took his hoodie off, showing off his arms, then slid his pants down halfway, revealing his boxers and his pale thighs, that were scarred and scattered with new cuts. Eddie covered his mouth and cried. "Richie oh my god.." He continued to cry. "Baby, no, oh my god." Richie began to cry a bit now and Eddie got up and hugged Richie for the second time that day.

"Richie, baby." Eddie cried. "Please don't hurt yourself like this. I'm here, I'm here to listen. I will protect you. I swear. I'm here for you." Eddie Let go of Richie and placed a hand on his cheek. Richie smiled down at him and kissed his lips once. He felt butterflies fill his stomach. His lips lingered on Eddie's for a moment, before pulling away. Eddie smiled at Richie before pulling his neck back in and kissing him rougher this time, allowing him to wrap his arms around Richie's neck, and Richie placed his hands on Eddie's waist. Eddie pulled away and kissed Richie's jawline once, earning a sigh from Richie and he smiled. "I love you, Richie. I love you so much." Richie nodded and smiled. "I love you too. So much."

Eddie intertwined their fingers and looked at Richie again. "Anything else I need to know about?" Richie scratched his neck. "I think I might have an eating disorder?" Eddie sighed and hugged Richie. "We'll get through it together." Eddie said.

-Three years later-
-Eddie is 21-
-Richie is 20-

Richie had been attending therapy for about a year and a half now, and he has been getting better. He's six months clean. Richie was by himself at their shared apartment, sitting on the couch watching the news with their Pomeranian, Fluff. It's gotten easier to eat and sleep, because of medication and therapy. The cutting thing was still a present issue that he struggles with. he hasn't had an urge is a few weeks, but all of a sudden he feels like he needs it. He needs the blade to drag across his skin in order to feel complete. He closed his eyes and repeated what his therapist told him. "Find alternatives."

He picked up his phone and called Eddie. "Richie? Hey baby what's up?" Eddie asked, smiling to himself. "I wanna relapse..i don't know what to do..they said alternatives and all i could think was this." Eddie turned the radio down. "I'm glad that you trusted me." Richie smiles and placed the phone on speaker. "I'm coming home right now. I'll be home in 10 minutes." They stayed on the phone until Eddie got to the apartment.

When Richie heard the keys open the door he immediately jumped up and tackled Eddie at the door. "EDDIE MY LOVEEE!" Richie yelled, stuffing his head into the latters neck. Eddie wrapped his arms around Richie and hugged him. "Hey baby." He said, kissing Richie's face. Richie smiled and placed a kiss on Eddie's lips. "Can we watch movies? And popcorn!" Richie asked Eddie. "Sure! Sounds like fun!"

Richie might never recover fully.
He might not recover at all,

But Eddie will be there through thick and thin.

And Richie found comfort in that

That's was enough to keep going.

Eddie Kaspbrack was his alternative.