Less shitty half of rick

Humantisis

Burt was setting up the gym for the flu dance. He took out a tape recorder and spoke into it. "Invent a cure for the flu, stab principle Vagina in the leg for making me do this." He finished setting up the mic. "If this school's staff wasn't a complete sauce party I would be having fun." Goldenfold nodded taking a cup of punch. "Want some spice?" He showed him a little weed.

Goldenfold eyes widened. "Are you insane? You should have told be you were holding out on me!" He took one started smoking and burt lit one up noticing it didn't smell like weed. "Why doesn't it smell?" Burt blew out, not showing the red eyes.

He chuckled. "Because this is my special strain, no smell, no red eyes and no sisters yelling at you for smoking." Burt was stoned and planing on heading home, but he had to stay there. If he wasn't getting laid neither would they.

The night came and something was odd, first Morty was dancing with a girl, second that one jock got angry then started screaming he loved Morty, then was surrounded by students.

Rick grabbed Morty out of a horde and left with Burt being too high to care, but he followed the students to make sure the students didn't do anything that can cause a lawsuit, they then turned into Humantises and he looked at his weed. "Beth's right this does kill brain cells." He took his plasma shooter and started firing at the students ,and ran with one arm missing. "Why is it always my right arm?!" He screamed and kept firing at the Humantises walking to self storage bleeding out until he attached a robot arm and prepared the cure for the flu at least this should make them less violently in love with Morty. When Burt came out he found they had turned into mutation of flesh. "Oh come on! Ok there is no cure for this." He sprayed himself with the universes most deadly predator causing the cronenbergs to stay away from Burt while he collected samples from them trying cure this shit.

Meanwhile

Burt was in the garage cleaning blood and then rick and morty came in from a portal. "Oh f*cking great! are you here to visit or replace?"

Rick sighed. "Replace, Burt how didn't you get killed?" He saw the robot arm. "Oh."

He chuckled. "Yea, I fixed your mess here, biatch! Right on time too, btw there is no flu virus anymore, I cured it: to make sure I don't have to set up the gym every flu season! You two do the honors burying your ugly faces, I will finish this mess up." He said getting the hose and spraying the blood off.

He waved to the neighbor taking out a joint. "Wait, no Burt you're trying get off this shit." He threw it away and finished cleaning his nephew and father.

Back in Cronenberg world

a turbine was outside Burt's Storage unit was killed any monster coming to his storage room and put on an armor and flew out looking for any survivors mostly cause he knew people related to Morty should be alive except Jerry's parents and Burt's mother because she died a few years back and Jacob already ate Jerry's parents, this time in the literal sense. When he found the rest of smiths beth and jerry were sitting on couch full of content.

Burt sighed as he walked to them and watched Summer go insane. "Burt, how are you doing?" Burt shrugged when Beth asked. Well it seemed like he would die with Jerry happy and Summer dying a virgin.

authors note: Burt sanchez will be back. Mostly to kill Rick. Also review or I will punch you in the boobs.