Read into My Heart

Chapter Twenty-One

Alex fumed the entire carriage ride home. He still couldn't believe the turn of events that had just played out. How had one moment he was waiting with anticipation at seeing Miranda, of actually feeling excited about her becoming his wife. And the next she was turning him away, his desire to provide for her becoming meaningless.

And then of course there was her father. What man would willingly compromise the future of his own family? Alex could not make heads or tails of it. But there was one thing that he couldn't deny and that was the peace that emanated off of Mr. Edwards. He was completely content with Miranda's decision, and may have even suggested it. And that was something that Alex could not say he had.

Arriving back at his townhouse, Alex flung open the carriage door and strode angrily inside. Throwing his things at the footman, Alex hurried into his study, whipping the door closed behind him. He was hiding to lick his wounds and he didn't care. The last thing Alex wanted was his mother probing him with more questions. When he arrived home yesterday, she immediately knew something had gone amiss but he refused to give any explanations.

Dragging his feet towards his desk, Alex realized how incredibly tired he suddenly felt. With all that had happened in the past few days, it was beginning to take its toll.

Alex wasn't sure what he was supposed to do now. It crossed his mind to go back to Roseglen to resume his life as a recluse. But the idea seemed much more hollow now. The thought of returning without Miranda left a searing pain in his chest.

Glancing down at the various papers all neatly organized, Alex spied a piece of paper that looked like a list of some sort. Frustration swelled up inside him again that he couldn't even deduce a simple list. Miranda had been right to reject him. If she had truly known the man he was, she wouldn't have professed her love so willingly.

Letting out a cry of anger, Alex cleared all of the papers off his desk in one big sweep. How could she say that she loved him and yet refuse to marry him? It was enough to drive a man mad. Do you love me? Miranda's words reverberated through him. He knew that he could love her, but it was like a great big chain was tied around his neck, prohibiting him from taking the leap.

"What is going on in here?"

Alex held back a groan as his mother barged into the room without even bothering to knock first. As her gaze raked over the strewn documents, Alex maintained his haughty composure, though inwardly he felt he should be hanging his head in shame at being caught in a childish outburst. When her eyes finally met his, he found no condemnation in them, only sympathy.

"What is going on Alexander?" his mother asked softly. "Ever since you came home yesterday you haven't been yourself."

Alex squeezed his hands into his fists at his side. He never felt such a lack of control over his emotions. "I went to see Miranda this morning. I offered to marry her but she refused."

Not letting any emotion show on her face, his mother went over to a nearby chair and sat down. "Do you know why she refused you?"

"She didn't want to marry out of obligation." Alex snorted. "Apparently salvaging her reputation wasn't enough for her."

His mother raised an eyebrow at the admission. "Is that why you came back early from the house party?"

Alex nodded. "Miranda and I had acted quite...close at the party. Mrs. Benson believed we were having a liaison at the house."

"You said Miranda didn't want to marry out of obligation. Was she willing to marry for love?"

Heaving a sigh, Alex sat down in the adjacent chair. He might as well tell all of it now. "Yes, she told me she loved me."