Written in the Stars ✨

Chapter 17

Nandini's pov

He inches away from me shaking his head, my heart drops to my stomach as I see him do that.

His face drained of any sort of colour, tears running down his eyes and the way his knees come up to his chest, I knew I messed up.

Yes I had been angry at manik for months but I didn't mean to say that I felt like I was back where those people raped me, I wanted to say that I felt Loney and alone but it all came out wrong, all of it did.

"Manik" I whisper

"I I di-didn't know" he stammers a little

"No manik i"

"I don't know how to talk my heart out, it hurts, all of it does. I didn't mhm I" he stammers

i sit on the floor in front of him but he inches away again not letting me touch him

"I don't know what love is, I have only known hatred" he whispers

"I didn't mean to say it like that, I was frustrated but I swear I didn't mean that last part I"

"It's okay nandini, I understand" he said

He grabs the blanket holding onto it, he lays his head on the side of the bed looking down at the floor. I watch him blink gently as he continues to stare at the floor for the next couple hours

His eyes start to droop a little so I inch forward but he pulls back making me hurt, I shouldn't have said that, I really shouldn't have. I didn't mean it nad the fact that it came out in anger is worse

"Manik" I whisper

He doesn't bother looking up, instead he clutches the blanket in his hands so I don't say anything more. an hour goes by and his eyes close, as his breathing gets normal and shallow I move closer to him

I grab the blanket and cover him, laying my head on the other dish of the bed facing him, I watch him sleep as tears run down my cheeks

It's been a horrible few months, first that incident and now this, I am so fucking stupid for doing that, I shouldn't have been so stupid blurting crap out like that

The next morning rolls around and finally his eyes flicker a bit opening as he looks at me, instead of a smile, a frown appears on his forehead

"Manik" I whisper

He rubs his eyes looking at the blanket and then at me

"Why are you on the floor?" He asks

"Manik im sorry, I didn't mean to utter those words, I didn't feel like that it was"

"Those were your real feelings and im sorry that I made you feel that way"

"No no manik plase"

"it's okay mhm if you don't wanna be with me we can mhm we can" he couldn't even utter those words out and I din't want him to

i pull on his arms opening them for me falling in his arms.

"I am sorry hubby, I was angry at you and that doesn't give me the right to say bullshit. I should have voiced my anger out differently, the words I used were very hurtful and I am so sorry Manik. I, you don't make me feel like I am back there, I felt Lonely, thats what I wanted to say. I felt like I had no one and that's what I felt" I ramble in his chest

When I don't hear anything I look up in his eyes

"Please say something" I whisper

"I am the biggest fucking idiot and I am an asshole but you were never an object to me. Sex was never something I forced on you and to hear that I made you feel like those monsters makes me want to die nandini"