WHAT I WANTED || nicolas sturniolo

prologue

I am tired. 

I am so tired of waking up every morning, only to do the same thing on repeat. 

I want things to change. 

I want people to change the way they act.

I hate that I have to film, edit, post, sleep, eat, and rewind. 

I'm constantly in a battle with someone that's not even here.

Someone that was gone a long time ago. 

That person, is none other then me. 

The person I was two years ago. 

Everyone tells me I need to change myself back to the person I used to be. 

I don't want that, though. 

People tell me that they like the old me, my old personality, my younger self. 

People are telling me to be someone that I hate. 

I mean, I don't hate all of what I used to be. 

I love that he was brave and loud, voiced his own opinions, and how he was always outgoing, but that wasn't me. 

I love the way I am now, but it's the fact that people don't love me for who I am and how I present myself. 

I started working out a year ago, which has helped me gain more confidence in myself and how I look.  

I started eating better foods, and I've tried to get a better sleeping schedule, although it hasn't worked out the best. 

I've gotten slimmer and stronger, and I've gotten healthier. 

I put purple highlights in my hair, and I even got an eyebrow piercing, which I told everyone I wouldn't do. 

I'm quieter now, and I don't have much of a temper as I did back then. 

But people don't like that. 

The people don't like anything I do anymore. They don't care about the content my brothers and I make, or the effort we put into making them happy. 

They always want something more, and we fail to do enough. 

I mean, what all can a 22-year-old do? 

They act like we can do so much, but we can't.

I'm so sick and tired of being in a battle I don't want to be in. 

I'm sick and tired of everything. 

I just want things to change. That's it. 

I don't want to be someone that gets judged or controlled. 

I want to be my own person, but it's never what I want. It's never what me and my brothers want anymore. 

It's always been what 'they' want, and to be honest, it always will be. 

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end notes:

I'm really excited for this story! At first, I was scared to make nick different and the setting different, but honestly, I really like it. 

I hope you enjoyed the prologue:)